Pink Ribbon Update

Thanksgiving is Coming and I'm Thankful I Can Have Surgery!

2010-11-17T12:57:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and I am not prepared! No surprise! Maybe it counts a little that I bought the big box of bread crumbs for stuffing at Costco last week. Now for a turkey and a few other necessities so that the family can make our Thanksgiving Dinner. That's right, I'll probably be watching or maybe even sleeping on the couch because I will be having surgery the day before!

Art and I went to see my Plastic Surgeon on Monday to discuss having the implant relocated and removing the other small lump. As he is assessing the situation and leaving no room for modesty, he asked about the remaining tissue under my arms. I quickly said, "well I would love to have it removed but you said that would be an out-of-pocket expense and we can't afford it". His response shocked me! He said that recently they have been able to do such surgeries as a covered procedure following mastectomy surgery, especially for women like myself that were large busted prior to cancer. I was speechless for a second and then responded, "sign me up". Seriously, you have no idea how uncomfortable this issue (or tissue) has been for me and how often I've wished (and prayed) that it could be done. This is a huge blessing!!

He asked when I wanted to have the surgery and Art and I had already discussed some options. We definitely want it done before the end of the year because I've met my deductible for 2010. Then, the doctor said he could do it next week. Are you serious? He was and I agreed to it! So the plan was to have it done Tuesday, which would give me Wednesday to recover a bit before Thanksgiving Day. Yesterday I receive the call saying that the hospital doesn't have any availability for Tuesday but they could do it Wednesday...ugh...deep breath...the day before Thanksgiving, are you serious? Well, that's the plan now and seemed like the best solution for several reasons. The following week is Sherry's birthday and the kids are planning to go to Disneyland. I knew they would cancel if I was having surgery. The week after that is my mom's 80th birthday and we are planning a little party. I also have "clients" closing on their home that week. Then we get closer to Christmas and all the festivities! So it's settled, next Wednesday, unless they have a cancellation for Tuesday.

I text Art this morning and asked him if I was crazy. Fortunately for me, I have a hubby that loves to cook and be in the kitchen, accompanied by two wonderful daughters that are great cooks, as well. Of course I can't forget Josh, my 9 year old grandson who aspires to be a chef someday and is always excited about helping in the kitchen.

God is good and His provisions always come at the right time!

If It's Not One Thing...

2010-11-17T12:47:00.000-08:00

My goal was to schedule the recommended surgery to remove the lump and move the implant before the end of the year but I was determined to pay off the surgeon for previous services before I would schedule any more. I also found out that I needed to have some hand surgery to release a couple of trigger joints. I had it all planned out. I would have the breast surgery and then about a month later I would take care of my hand....that was until my fingers became so painful and locked up more frequently. The doctor was unable to give me any more cortisone injections and surgery was inevitable.

I had the hand surgery in October and I'm almost completely healed. My middle finger still has slight swelling and lack of range of motion. Sometimes it feels as though it's broken but hopefully in time it will heal completely. I am thankful that I can open and close my fingers now without them getting stuck. Now I can play that little finger game with the kids, "open shut them, open shut them, give a little clap, clap, clap". Before surgery it was a little more delayed and pretty comical.

Mystery Rash Returns

2010-11-17T12:24:00.001-08:00

The middle of June, I began not feeling well and although I couldn't really pin point why I didn't feel good, I just knew something didn't seem right. I started having chills and fever and feeling weak. One day, about a week after Jordan had arrived, Sherry said, "mom your face is flush, have you checked your breast area". She said this because in December I had developed some type of mysterious skin infection that set into my chest area and was bright red. I hadn't even thought about the fact that it could be a similar problem again, after all, that was so strange when it happened the first time. Sherry followed me to the bathroom mirror and as I lifted my shirt we saw the familiar redness and it was warm to the touch.

I knew I would probably be accompanied to the hospital once again but I didn't want to think about it. As you can guess, I didn't have a say in the matter! Art promptly took me and Sherry to the hospital and dropped us off while he ran to his own doctor appointment. A few hours later I was being admitted to hospital and pumped full of strong antibiotics that I can't even pronounce. Fortunately, this time they were able to catch it before it spread as much as the first time around. I was seen by the same Infectious Disease Doctor and she was just as puzzled about it this time as last. After a few days of care in the hospital, I was released and I continued the medications at home. The only explanation they can give is that my immune system is compromised and infections hit the weakest area. Hopefully this is the last time!!

Bundle of Joy...Little Jordan Arrives!

2010-11-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

The biggest bright spot in my summer was the arrival of my 4th grandson! Jordan Alexandar made his grand entrance into this world on June 18th! He tried to make his appearance several times but the doctors were able to hold mommy's contractions off long enough for him to be healthy and strong, even though he insisted on still coming a bit early! What an awesome experience to witness his birth, as I have with the other three boys. My emotions were raw, as I realized how blessed I was to be here, alive, and to hold him in my arms.

The days around his birth were busy and exciting as we helped with the other boys and spent time getting to know our newest addition. There is nothing like being a grandma. There is nothing like being a cancer survivor and soaking up the precious moments of life! I realize how blessed I am!

It's Been a Rough Year!

2010-11-17T11:50:00.000-08:00

I haven't been very deligent about updating my blog this year...in fact, I realize now that I haven't blogged since February. I don't think I can fully explain my state of mind this last year and especially the summer months, so suffice it to say, I was in a bit of a funk and a little depressed perhaps.

Honestly, I feel like maybe everything finally caught up with me and my emotions. I was physically and emotionally tired of dealing with medical issues. It seems as though it's been one issue after another without any time to get my head above water for a deep breath.

Actually, I guess it started in the spring with the discovery of a lump in the same breast that had cancer. I did all the right things, I went to the doctor but was hoping he would say he didn't feel it and I was being paranoid. Unfortunately, he did feel it, as well, and sent me for an ultra sound. The report was reassuring, in that the radiologist believed it to be benign. However, shortly after my visit, my doctor called and suggested that I still consult with my surgeon for another opinion. I saw the surgeon and his opinion was that with my history, the lump should be removed or at the very least biopsied, although it wasn't urgent. I will be the first to admit that I want the lump out of there but his words brought mixed emotions. The good news was that he suggested it could be done at the same time that the implant is relocated to it intended position. He was afraid that if he just tried to biopsy or remove the lump he may rupture the implant. Now, I would need to meet with the Plastic Surgeon to schedule it.

On top of the medical issues I was facing, business was slow and finances were tight! Then I found out I needed a lot of dental work done which was going to cost more than I could afford! I just wanted off the merry-go-round because it wasn't very "merry"!

Slip Sliding Away

2010-02-27T00:43:00.000-08:00

Over the past several months, I've tried to ignore the fact that one of my implants has decided to go south...literally, and sort of east, or west...depending on where the sun rises in your neighborhood. At first, I thought it was just my imagination but after getting the opinion of my family members, it was confirmed. Now, don't think we sat around the dinner table evaluating the situation, but privately, my hubby, and both daughters agreed that things were slip sliding away! Yes, they laughed a little bit, too!

Guess what? Some situations don't improve by ignoring them!! In November, I consulted with my plastic surgeon and he agreed that I was a bit out of balance. His solution was a "simple procedure" to surgically return the implant to it's intended position. I also addressed issues with the other side but he did not concur. It's amazing how he has changed his tune since I first started this process with him. Initially, he assured me that ALL surgeries that were related to the BC would be covered by insurance. However, now he's singing a different tune. Of course he would gladly take care of it all but it would be an out-of-pocket expense. No thank you!

Last week, I consulted with my friends doctor, to get a second opinion. Unfortunately, it cost me a $40 co-pay for him to tell me the same basic information, but he does get brownie points for being very professional, nice, and honest!! He agreed with my doc, with the exception of it being a "simple procedure". Simple for him, he smirked, but he said I may not agree. Obviously, it wouldn't be nearly as involved as the original surgery but would require some down time and limitations for several months. Ugh...not again! Not to mention the fact, there are no promises that it won't reoccur. Seriously?

I'm certainly not too concerned about the appearance but it is rather uncomfortable to have the implant shift downward and over under my armpit! If you're a visual person, I'm sure you're getting a hilarious picture in your mind...it's not THAT bad! I know I'm eventually going to have to deal with it but for now, picture me with my hands over my ears, singing loudly...lalalalalalalala! I don't want to deal with it, yet!

So, to the lady who said to me once, "I have a family history of BC and so I'm considering having a bi-lateral mastectomy and getting implants so my breasts will be perky!" (Yes she did say that to me!) You might want to rethink it...it's not all it's cracked up to be!

Just A Reminder...

2010-02-27T00:33:00.000-08:00

The purpose of my blog has to been to share my journey and my life following my breast cancer diagnosis. It's been healing for me to be able to share my thoughts, fears, frustrations, blessings and every other emotion I've experienced along the way. I'm encouraged to know that others have enjoyed traveling the road with me and continue to follow my blog.

Sometimes I have questioned how much I should share and how open I should be with my blog. After all, once it's on here...I'm not quite sure who is reading it. You know I'm talking about you "blog stalkers"! :) My prayer has been and will continue to be that somehow, through it all, God would be honored and praised, as I give Him glory for it all.

So, if you've been shocked by how open and transparent I am with such a personal issue, I hope you're not offended and maybe this isn't the place for you to come again. All others, please continue to share this journey with me. After all, any adventure is better when shared with a friend!

It's a Battle Worth Fighting!

2010-02-08T17:19:00.000-08:00

The fight against cancer takes everything you've got...and then some! Although I have been cancer free for 2 1/2 years, the results of the battle are felt in my body everyday!

In the past several months I have been dealing with frustrations of physical limitations in my body. Is it a result of cancer treatment? I'm not really sure! I have had incredible joint pain, stiffness, and swelling, along with the chronic headaches. I have seen a foot specialist and received shots in both feet, a hand doctor and had multiple shots in my finger joints, and a neurologist has tried a few medications for the headaches.

In the fall, I was referred to a rheumatologist for evaluation and had my first visit with her and her staff. I must say, I don't know when I had a more thorough physical examination! The exam was followed by lots of bloodwork, and MRI's of my hands, wrists, feet, and ankles in December. On a side note, can you believe that insurance won't pay for MRI's on connecting joints on the same day. Seriously! So, one day I went for MRI's of the hands and feet and the next day for the ankles and wrists.

My original follow up appointment was rescheduled, so I didn't learn about the results of the tests until a couple of weeks ago. The diagnosis...Erosive Osteoarthritis or EOA. It's just like it sounds, I have warn spots and holes in my joints. She is treating the EOA with a medication called plaquenil. The medication has several unpleasant and scary side effects that I won't talk about now. They will monitor me on the medication to try and prevent any serious side effects.

The rheumatologist also said I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome, which wasn't a surprise because I was told I had that several years ago. In my case, it's caused by a lack of estrogen because I had a complete hysterectomy at age 21 due to severe endometriosis. Now the post cancer medication I take prevents my body from producing any estrogen and the result, as she said, is that my body is estrogen starved which results in Fibromyalgia Syndrome. Honestly, the Fibro is the least of my concerns!

Of course, my BIG question to the doc was..."is this a result of cancer or cancer treatment?" Why this matters, I don't know! It just seems to be a logical question! The doc went on to give me a couple of excellent analogies. For example, she explained the treatment against cancer, like fighting a battle. The oncologist is waging war against the cancer and his main focus is destroying the cancer, to save my life. However, just like in any other wars, there are innocent civilians injured. So it is, we have the ongoing fight against cancer that started in my breast but the casualties are felt in the rest of my body. Not everyone experiences the same effects from cancer or cancer treatment, but in my case, this seems to be the outcome.

It is a battle worth fighting!!

It's a bit of a mystery...but what's new?

2010-02-08T16:04:00.000-08:00

In October, during my routine oncology appointment, my doctor suggested that I talk with my PC about my kidney function because my lab work was consistently coming back abnormal. So I made the appointment, saw the doc and although he wasn't too concerned, he ordered a renal ultrasound. The following week, I received a call from him, telling me that I have several kidney stones. The stones are not very big and probably will not cause me any trouble, but I should now consult with a urologist to see about having them "blasted" with ultra sound before they get any larger. I will be seeing the urologist later this month, adding one more doc to my ever increasing list!

On a Friday in mid November, I was working on Real Estate paperwork and making phone calls from my home office. I had not been feeling well in the previous weeks and dealing with chills and sweats. I thought maybe I had caught a bug from the grand kids but wasn't too concerned because nothing major seemed to be hurting (any more than usual).

I finally decided to jump in the shower and get ready for the day. I was shocked to see in the mirror a bright red "rash" across my chest. I went ahead and took a shower, keeping my back to the warm water. After showering, the red was not going away and I was getting a little nervous. I asked Sherry to take a look and she had the expected response...we better call dad. I insisted that it would probably go away with time and there was no need to bother him. A while later, the redness seemed to be increasing a little and after re-evaluation by Sherry, I gave Art a call. I chatted with him briefly and found out he was just around the corner, so there was no need to tell him until he was home. One look at it and he was ready to take me to the ER. At this point, my emotions were hard to contain and the thought of Inflamatory Breast Cancer raced through my mind.

Once I arrived at the ER, I was given a mask and taken in the back, almost immediately. I was having a hard time containing my emotions while talking to the nurse and then the doc. Within a very brief time in the ER, the redness was spreading quickly. The doc took a pen and outlined the area so that he could monitor the progress. Sherry laughed and said it looked like a bat on my chest. Stacey was home with her little guys, and anxiously awaiting text message updates from Sherry. Stacey told the boys that grandma was at the hospital and Seth wanted to know if I was getting a baby out of my tummy! Yikes...where did that come from? You have to remember that they had just found out, weeks earlier, that mommy was pregnant with baby #4. However, grandma was definitely NOT having a baby!!

I was seen by an infectious disease doc and started on some heavy duty antibiotics, while waiting for the results of all the blood work. Later...much, much later, I was admitted to the hospital for further observation. They assured me that it was not IBC but possibly cellulitis (skin infection). After a couple of nights in the hospital, lots of antibiotics, an allergic reaction, and a bit of stress, I was released and sent home with two oral antibiotics. The redness cleared up very quickly and has not returned. It's a bit of a mystery but what's new?

I lied...

2010-02-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

Back in September, I said that I was going to make more of an effort to update my blog but I lied. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't have good intentions, but actually doing it is another story!

Lump Patrol...

2009-09-17T02:20:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I've posted an update...I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore! Regardless, I'm going to share my thoughts and try to be more diligent about posting.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my upper chest area near the sight where my chemo port had been. At first I dismissed it thinking it was a muscle or something. After a few days of it being there I began to think that it was some scar tissue from the port...that seemed reasonable. I asked my hubby to feel it but with his big calloused hands, he wasn't sure if he felt anything and I thought that was a good sign.

On the 2nd of September, I was at my doctor's office being seen for a second round of a UTI and mentioned the lump. The doc felt the area and sure enough, she confirmed that there was something there and scheduled me for another mammo and ultrasound.

Yesterday was the diagnostic testing and I'm happy to say the mammo was "normal". I have to laugh at that statement! How normal can a mammo be when you've had a bilateral mastectomy? Trust me, just trying to perform the test is an accomplishment in itself. Regardless, it was "normal". On to the ultrasound room. The tech was quickly able to find the lump and I could see it on the screen. Anxiety! She filmed the lump and took the video in for the doc to review. It's not scar tissue or a muscle but yes, there is clearly a lump. They feel confident that it's not cancer but advised me to watch it for any changes in size or density. If that happens I will see a breast surgeon for further evaluation.

At this time...I'm on lump patrol!

Rejoicnig Over My 1099...Seriously!

2009-02-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

I stopped by my office this past week to drop off paperwork and I grabbed the pile of junk mail in my mailbox. I hurried off to my car and sat there a moment as I thumbed through the pile of advertisements and hidden in the pile was my 1099 for 2008. As you know, I'm a Realtor and receive a 1099 as a independent contractor for tax purposes. I ripped open the envelope with out much thought and glanced at the line indicating my income for 2008...$9286...are you kidding me? Seriously, I knew I didn't make much last year but with the illness and so much else on my mind, I honestly hadn't stopped to think about my income for the year. So there I sat, starring at the figure, seriously amazed at the amount and for a moment felt a sense of panic. Then I broke into laughter, sitting there all alone, just me and God! If anyone was watching they probably thought I was crazy. I couldn't help but thank God for how incredible He is and how He provided for our needs this past year! We've had to make some adjustments but we've not gone lacking and in fact we've lived comfortably. We are so blessed and God has been so good. We have a beautiful home, food on the table, vehicles to drive, money for gas, health insurance, medications, and so much more!

I've said all along, there's never a "good time to get cancer" but if there was a good time for a Realtor to get cancer, God chose the best time for me! God has great timing and a pretty good sense of humor, don't you think?

My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
~Phil 4:19

Stand in awe!

2009-01-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

A dear friend gave me a daily calendar for 2009 with thoughts of inspiration and scripture. The first day I read "Stand in awe", from Psalms 4:4 and the thought went on to say, "I'll begin the new year filled with wonder just to be alive". How appropriate for my life. Yes, it's applicable to anyone, but after the past year or so, I'll shout a loud, amen! I often find myself feeling overcome with emotions when I realize the gift of each day!

The past few months have been a bit of a challenge for me. I started having daily headaches a few months ago but really wasn't too concerned, just thought it was because I needed an adjustment. I saw the doctor, got the adjustment but there was no improvement. I was sent to see a neurologist who recommended that I have an MRI. I couldn't have one at the time because the expander's in my chest had metal in them. So, I waited until after the exchange surgery to get the MRI. The results were a little "unclear" and showed some areas of concern but my doctor didn't think it was cancer related but perhaps some "other" medical issues. They wanted another MRI done with contrast, which I had and I'm now waiting for the results...later this week. Oh, and did I mention I had hand surgery thrown in there, too? Yes, before BC I was told I need carpal tunnel surgery and during the last year it became more severe. So in November, I had carpal tunnel surgery with two other incisions to release tendons in my thumb and wrist area. Just like anyone else, it seems like the challenges never end.

I want to live each day to the fullest, whatever that might be. My days are filled with working, serving, sharing, laughing, crying...just being me! Some days would be easier to stay in my comfy pj's and curl up on the couch but I can't remember a time when I've given into that temptation. I can't! I must live each day to the fullest! God has blessed my life in SO many incredible ways and I don't want to let one day slip by. I'm thankful for the gift of each day and I look forward to living each moment.

I stand in awe! Psalms 4:4

My Very Own Christmas Angel

2008-12-31T00:10:00.000-08:00

Early in December, I had a surprise visit from my very own Christmas angel. Olivia is the daughter of my friend Beth and they raised money and walked with me on the "Race for the Cure", in October. Her mom called early one morning and said Olivia had a special surprise for me and asked if they could stop by. A little while later, Olivia showed up with an adorable pink bear that she had saved her money to buy for Miss Susie! Olivia made the bear at Build a Bear in the mall, filled her with love, and even dressed her in a pink outfit. Olivia named her Passion because she remembered the name of my team was Pink Ribbon Passion and she has a pink ribbon on the bottom of her foot in support of BC! Olivia was full of smiles and giggles when she gave me the bear and was sure to tell me she put a special heart inside of Passion for me! We exchanged lots of hugs that morning! Thank you Olivia, you're one special little girl!

Thankful

2008-11-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for...

life...each day is a precious gift
Jesus, my Savior
my faith & hope
my devoted husband, a man of integrity
sensitive and loving daughters
a compassionate son in law
three adorable and silly grandsons
the support of my parents
my extended family
friends, both old and new
the sound of laughter
the power of prayer
God's healing touch
opportunities to share God's love
worship through music
challenges that test my faith
blessings that renew my hope
God's Word to encourage my heart

I am so blessed and I pray that God will allow me to be a blessing to others!

Happy Thanksgiving!

MRI

2008-11-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

Why is it that you don't have to do something until you know you can't? If you've ever had the pleasure of having an MRI, you understand to what I'm referring? On the way to the room, the tech asked if I needed to use the bathroom to which I responded, no I'm fine, thanks. So, we proceed to the room and I'm positioned on the table. I'm given some headphones so the sound of the machine is muffled. She cranks up some music...certainly not my choice but I try and relax. My eyes must remain shut and as if she doesn't trust me to do this, she places a wash cloth over my eyes. I wonder if they use a clean wash cloth for each patient? Hmmm. I'm handed a panic button and my hands are clasped on it...just in case I need to get out NOW! I'm rolled into the machine and I'm told not to move...just try to relax. The music is annoying and interrupted by her voice at the beginning of each cycle of the machine. I'm relieved to know, I haven't been sent in to bake and then forgotten! I wonder the "what ifs"...what if I have some metal in my body, you know something left over from a surgery. I recently watched ER where they rolled the patient in on the wrong gurney (metal of course) and the patient was smashed between the machine and the gurney. Why do I watch these shows? I try to relax and start praying, not because I'm scared...just taking advantage of the "quiet time". Now that I can't move, I become very aware of an itch on my face and want to reach up and scratch. I tell my self to ignore it. I continue to pray. Suddenly, I have a tickle in my throat and I'm telling myself...don't cough, don't cough, while I try to swallow to sooth the irritation and focus on praying! Then, I start feeling the need to use the bathroom but I know I must be about done. Just then, her voice breaks through the music and clacking of the machine to tell me I'm half way done. Great...my bladder is going to bust! I'm comforted just to know I have the panic button, should I need it. Pray! I start to chuckle, thinking of my dilemma. I'm reminded of my grandsons who are more enticed to do something when they are told it's off limits and I can relate more than ever. I continue to pray for my family and friends, for the outcome of the procedure. Before long, the clunking and whirling sound of the machine stops and the tech breaks through to tell me it's over! Thank you, Lord! I find Art in the waiting room and gracefully make a bee line to the little girls room! Whew...glad that's done!

PVC Picnic

2008-11-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

In Loving Memory...

2008-11-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, my friend Peggie entered heavens gates after a seven year battle with breast cancer. Peggie was special to me for many different reasons. Most importantly, she is the mother of my son-in-law, Jeff and she raised him to be a devoted follower of Christ and a man of integrity! Peggie and I proudly shared the grandma role of our three grandsons from Jeff and Stacey.

My friendship with Peggie goes back many years, long before our children fell in love! We attended church together and about 20 years ago, Art and I worked with Jeff's parents in a camping ministry, just outside of Show Low, for several years. Peggie and I spent summer's together in the camp office, handling registrations, donations and other office related issues, as well as helping in the kitchen, and anywhere else we were needed. During the off season, I worked out of their home office in Phoenix, assisting her with camp related tasks. I learned a great deal from Peggie during those years. She was a very humble servant and a strong woman of faith! She had a deep love for God and a heart for children. I enjoyed sitting in and listening to her tell Bible stories at camp and seeing the faces of the children as she talked about Jesus. We all lovinly referred to her as "Aunt Peggie". I have a lot of fond memories of time spent with Aunt Peggie, especially relating to the ministry of Victory Heights Bible Camp.

She had a huge impact on my daughter's from a very early age! They grew up loving "Aunt Peggie" and little did we know that she would one day be Stacey's mother-in-law.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, Peggie was near the end of her battle. We didn't speak too many words about the BC but when I visited her at hospice, a few days before my surgery, she assured me that she was praying for me.

Today, I know she is in heaven with our Savior and I look forward to seeing her again one day!

Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:8 (NLT)

Find a Cure...

2008-11-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Exchange

2008-10-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tuesday I had my exchange surgery and I'm home recovering now. Those of you who are familiar with the process, you'll understand what the exchange surgery involves. For those of you who aren't sure what it is, I'll briefly explain.

First, let me just say that although I am a very private person, I have felt compelled from the beginning of my journey with breast cancer to be transparent and honest about my experience so that others can learn from my story. The current statistics are that one in 8 women will be diagnosed with BC in their lifetime. Now, think about the number of women in your life...who might be touched by this disease? Perhaps, traveling this journey with me, will allow you to be educated and comfortable supporting someone else...until the day we find a cure!

October of 2007, when I was diagnosed, I had a bilateral mastectomy. A few weeks later, the plastic surgeon went back in and inserted expanders in to my chest. I saw the doctor weekly to have saline injected into the expanders to gradually expand my chest and make room for implants. In April, I had to have the expanders replaced because one was defective and I had to start the process again. The exchange surgery is when the doctor removes the expander and replaces it with a breast implant. Although it is impossible to re-create a breast after such radical surgery, the goal is to at least make you feel "a little more normal". Obviously, it will never be the same again!

It's an odd feeling, going to sleep and not knowing what to expect when you wake up. I have to admit, I wasn't overly thrilled with the outcome. However, it has caused me to think about the final exchange that will take place one of these days! I know that someday, I will be given a perfect body, without blimish or scar and I will forever be with my Savior! Until then, the scars are a reminder of what He has done for me and I will share the good news of Christ as long as I have breath!

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:18

It was a beautiful day...

2008-10-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, 18 of my family and friends joined me for the 5k Race for the Cure! It was beautiful day, in more ways than one! The weather was perfect! The atmosphere was incredible as we were amongst the crowd of 33,000 runners and walkers at the State Capitol District at 17th Avenue and Adams Street. I was overwhelmed by the number of pink shirts, indicating breast cancer survivors, and I was proud to be one of them.

Organizers say the event raised approximately $2 million dollars!! My team, Pink Ribbon Passion, raised $2,475!! Up to 75 percent of the proceeds raised from the event will stay in central and northern Arizona to fund education, screening and treatment projects. Twenty-five percent will go directly to the Komen Research Grants and Awards program for breast cancer research.

Thank you, Pink Ribbon Passion Team!!

My family

Art, Stacey, Sherry & Josh.

My friends

Shawnette, Shannon, Karen, Mackenzie, Savannah, Silvana, Colette,

Beth, Rick, Olivia, Jolene, Kassy, Carmen, & Carlos.

Special thanks to Tim, Justin, & their side kick, Katie,

for doing an awesome job of following along

and capturing the entire event in photos and on video!

Oh, and for those of you who knew I broke my toe about 10 days before the race...thanks for not laughing too hard!! My little piggie is pretty sore today but we managed just fine!

Race for the Cure

2008-10-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Sherry and I went to Paradise Valley and picked up the shirts for the 19 members of Pink Ribbon Passion!! So far, our team has raised a little over $2000 for the cause. I have been asked about the Susan G. Komen organization and some of the things that they stand for, so for the record let me say, as a christian, I do not support all of their ideas or views. However, they have been instrumental in raising the awareness of breast cancer and have done a lot in our community with their efforts. I am one of those fortunate women who found her breast cancer in it's early stage, which may save my life. Honestly, without all of the community awareness and talk about checking yourself, perhaps I would not have found mine when I did. I don't know. In comparison, I don't appreciate all the items my local grocery store sells and supports, however, I do need their services to provide food for my family and I continue to shop there.

I can appreciate the differing views and if you feel strongly about it, then certainly you should not be involved in it and I completely respect your choice. For myself, being dramatically effected by this horrible disease, I will stand behind those who raise awareness regarding breast cancer and support finding a cure. I hope you can respect my position, as well.

One Year Ago Today

2008-10-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that one year ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer! What an incredible year it has been with surgeries, chemo, treatments, etc. Never before have I felt God's presence in my life, experienced the support of family and friends, the way I have during this journey!

Recently, during our women's home team (bible study), I was listening to Beth Moore talk about the presence of God. She referred to the story of Moses and how he was faced with going on with so much but without the presence of God and he refused to move forward unless he knew God's presence would be with him. My eyes filled with tears as I thought to myself, I would rather have cancer and know the presence of God than to have perfect health without His presence. I shared that with my friends that night and I've thought about it nearly every day since that night. It was a powerful moment in my life as I verbalized those feelings. I mean them with all my heart!!

Looking back, there have been some treasured moments in my life during this year. Blessings I may not have known without traveling down this path.

Some of those special blessings were: 1) Being loved and cared for by my family, like never before! 2) Having friends pray over me - women who had never prayed out loud before! 3) Sharing my journey and hope in Christ with so many! 4) Receiving so many hugs, words of encouragement, and tokens of love! 5) Seeing God provide for our every need - more than I could have hoped or imagined!

God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine. He does everything by his power that is working in us. ~Ephesians 3:20

Our Little Musician

2008-09-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Kids are always fascinated with music, aren't they? Well, he's no different! He loves to sneak into the dining room and touch the piano keys. In fact, the risk of pinching his fingers in the cover is worth it to him because he goes back again and again.

When he was able to sit on the bench and play, he thought he was really something special...and he is! He was really getting in the groove this time around! He's even working on his stage presence and establishing eye contact with his audience...not bad for 15 months old!

He's so darn cute!

Smoothie Time

2008-09-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite kitchen gadgets!! It's like the Magic Bullet but it's the Cook's brand from JC Penney. I got mine on sale for $19 which was quite a bargain!

Seth was at the house this morning and I offered to fix him a smoothie.

Of course, he was excited because he LOVES fruit & yogurt smoothies!

The only problem for him is the sound...he is very sensitive to noise!

He covered his ears but couldn't stop slurping!!

This kid even covers his ears when he flushes the toilet.

If he's able, he'll cover his ears and flush with his elbow!

Pretty funny to see!!

You know kids, they can't leave the straw in the drink.

For some reason it tastes better when you can lick and slurp from the other end of it.

I love enjoying the simple things in life with my grandkids!

Overcome with Emotions

2008-09-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Lately, it seems like I get emotional over the littlest things! Maybe it's the fact that I'm nearing the one year mark since I was diagnosed with BC. I don't know! Maybe it's hormones...I think I still have a few of those running around in my body! Maybe it's the frustration from the nagging headaches I seem to have everyday, lately. Perhaps, it's all the talk and planning for the Race for the Cure, next month. Maybe it's a combination of everything!!

I'm so excited that I have 19 family and friends on my team, Pink Ribbon Passion! So far, we've raised about $1335 in donations!! My 7 year old grandson signed up last night to be a part of the team and he's taking it very seriously. This little guy has had both of his grandmas touched by this horrible disease. His Grandma Peggie was a long time friend of mine and she entered heaven's gates a few short weeks after my diagnosis. So he knows more than most little boys, his age, about the seriousness of breast cancer.

He is one reason why I'm determined to fight this battle...and win!

Time is Running Out

2008-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

If you're interested in walking with me, my family, and friends for the Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure, on Sunday, October 12, you must sign up soon! The deadline to add team members is this Wednesday, September 17 (there is no team registration after the 17th or on race day)! The cost is $25 to register for the walk ($15 for kids 12 and under) and that includes a commemorative t-shirt to wear on race day. You will also have your own webpage where you can receive donations towards our team goal!

Last year, 37,000 participants enjoyed the Phoenix Race and raised over $1.9 million to help us meet our vision of a world without breast cancer. Join me and the thousands of people who will gather in Phoenix in the State Capitol District to take part in this 16th Annual charity event! Go to our team page and click on "join our team".

I signed up to do the 5k walk which is about 3.5 miles. If you are unable to participate, you can show your support by making an online donation at the Race for the Cure site which will help me reach my fundraising goal!

Thank you!

About Komen:
Since 1993, the Affiliate has raised over $13 million to fight breast cancer for research and the local STEP grant program (Screening, Treatment and Education Program). Up to 75% of all monies raised stays within our local community, and 25% funds the Komen Award and Research Grant Program. Read more...

Pink Ribbon Passion ~ Race for the Cure ~ Deadline, September 17th!!

2008-09-05T00:47:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that next month will mark one year since I was diagnosed with BC!! The past year has been full of challenges and blessings! Not a day goes by that I don't think about having BC and how thankful I am to be here today!

Next month is also National Breast Care Awareness Month and my daughter's and I will be walking in the Komen Race for the Cure, on October 12! I'm currently raising funds towards my personal goal of $500 in donations. If you are interested in supporting this cause, please go to my webpage, where you can make a tax deductible donation of any amount. Remember, no amount is too small and if we all work together, we can make a huge difference!

Did you know that…

• Breast Cancer accounts for more than 1 in 4 cancers diagnosed in women in the U.S.?

• Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death among Hispanic women?

• White women will have the highest incidence rates of breast cancer, but African-American women will have the highest mortality rates?

• An estimated 2,800 women in Arizona will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year?

• 600 women in Arizona will die of breast cancer this year?

Last year, I became one of the statistics!
Last year, my son-in-laws mother and my dear friend, lost her battle against BC!

I must do my part to fight this disease and support the efforts to find a cure!

If you are interested in becoming a part of the "Pink Ribbon Passion" team and participating in this event, please visit my team website to sign up. You must register by September 17th if you want to be a part of the team!!

To make a tax deductible donation towards my personal goal, please visit my personal webpage or click on the link in the upper left-hand of this website.

Thank you for your love and support!

California Here We Come

2008-08-29T11:40:00.001-07:00

It was a spur of the moment decision at the beginning of the week and now

we are packed up and headed for California!

What a good looking chauffeur we have for our Labor Day (Ford) Expedition!

We're crammed in like sardines..

ready for an adventure...

good thing we like being together!
Stacey woke up with a bad headache and dry heaves...

not a good way to start vacation.
Fortunately, she is feeling better now!!

Buckled up for safety and ready for some fun!

The boys are excited...including Jeff!

California, here we come!

Good Results

2008-08-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

I had the ultrasound done yesterday and the radiologist looked at it while I was there. He said he didn't see anything abnormal, although it's a little more difficult with the expanders in there. I will see my doctor next week for a follow-up and she will determine if I need the MRI or not.

The ultrasound was done and I had to lay on the table for about 10 minutes while waiting for the tech to return with the results. It was somewhat of a deja vu experience for me. As I lay there, praying and asking God to have His hand upon me and trusting Him for the results, my eyes started to fill as I blinked back the tears, remembering the diagnosis day! Whew! Memories flooded my mind and for those ten minutes, I re-lived so many experiences of the past year...good and bad! I felt the peace of God sweep across my body, just as I have felt so many times before! I saw the faces of so many family and friends who have been my cheerleaders on this journey! Even now, I am overcome with emotions, just thinking about it all!

None of us know what lies in our future but I do know that God has numbered my days from the moment He gave me life and nothing will change His plan! I'm confident that He will see me through, as I trust Him for each new day!

Thanks for your prayers!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:13-14

Ultrasound

2008-08-27T11:50:00.001-07:00

Today I will have an ultrasound done because of some soreness I've been having in my underarm on the same side as I had the BC. The likely source is from the expander but because of the location, we have to make sure that's all it is. I will see the doctor next week for the results.

Thanks for praying!!

2008-08-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you know that the New Homeland Security Bill has passed. Things will be different now and Internet surfing as you know it will be tracked by what the FBI calls a 'non intrusive method.' The FBI says you will hardly notice anything different.

For a demonstration, click on the link below:

Homeland Security

Dad Took a Tumble

2008-08-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

My dad had been doing remarkably well since we brought him home from the care center about 3 weeks ago. Yesterday, he took a tumble and was taken to the ER via ambulance...again! So far, it doesn't appear that anything is broken (praise God) but he got scrapped up and is really sore in his lower back. As usual, once he's in the hospital, they seem to find other concerns to evaluate while he's there. Due to his liver failure, his stomach bloats out and makes him look nine months pregnant and requires his stomach to be tapped. He just had that done last week but they want to do it again before they release him from the hospital. Also, they are evaluating if he is having some congestive heart failure again. Hopefully today they will drain his stomach, do his dialysis, and then release him.

I'm sure he's going to be sore for several days!

Two Thumbs Up

2008-08-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

I've had lots of aches and pains in my joints over the past several weeks which lead to my doctor ordering nerve conduction tests. I've seen a hand specialist twice now and he determined that I have some nerve damage, arthritis, trigger joints, tendinitis, and carpal tunnel. Some of it could be side effects from chemo and my medication, Arimidex, (which I have to take for at least 5 years to reduce the risk of recurrence of the cancer), or at least those two things have caused these other underlying issues to rear their ugly heads with a vengeance!

Last week I had EMG's done on my hands and legs. My joints had progressively gotten worse and by the time I saw the hand specialist again on Monday, my right thumb wouldn't bend and my middle finger on the left hand wouldn't straighten out. He gave me four shots (OUCH!)...one in each wrist and one in the thumb and finger. Now, they are moving much better and I'm sleeping with wrist splints to help with the carpal tunnel. Surgery may be in the future but hopefully not anytime soon.

I've been a little down and discouraged lately because of these annoying and painful issues. I'm happy to be able to give two thumbs up (really) today and rejoicing in the relief from the shots.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever! ~Psalms 73:26

Traveling Pants...

2008-08-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

Here is a great opportunity to send your used blue jeans on a traveling adventure of their own!

This Friday and Saturday Mervyns will give you $5 off denim for him & her or $3 off kids' denim when you bring in your gently used, clean jeans. Declare that you're gonna put your blues to good use. Discount excludes Levi's®. All donated jeans will go to The Salvation Army, so use your blues for a great cause.

Contact a Mervyns near you for details. Some restrictions apply.

My Brother Hits The Big 50!!

2008-08-14T10:43:00.001-07:00

My brother, Steve, celebrated his 50th birthday this month!

He has played such an important role in my life

and I value my relationship with him.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer

he was one of the first people to call me.

He knows the gut wrenching feeling

of receiving a devastating diagnosis,

as he was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 3 1/2 years ago.

He has the ability of making you laugh in the midst of tears.

The day he called me, he said, "I just have one question...

where was the lifeguard at our gene pool?"

We laughed and cried together that day

and he and my sister-in-law, Cindy,

have been a huge support for me during the past year!

Steve and Cindy with their four beautiful daughters,

Danah, Jennifer, Stephanie & Leslie.

Danah came in from WI to celebrate her dad's big day!

Steve and "kids" from his youth group...back in the day!

They planned and executed a surprise

Luau 50th Birthday Celebration!

They did an incredible job of honoring Steve and showing their

heart-felt appreciation for his sacrifice during their teen years.

He was emotional and speechless!

They're all 30+ now and have families of their own.

Some of them were a "real challenge" during their youth.

It was so awesome to be together with them again

and learn about their families, careers,

and most of all, their spiritual growth!

My sister Karen, her husband John, Art and I were all

involved with Steve during his ministry as Youth Pastor.

Art and I served and taught some of these kids

during their Jr. High years.

One, of them is Jeff, who is now our son-in-law!!

My mom and dad started it all...in many ways!
Dad was the Pastor of the church for 30+ years!
Dad had just come home from the care center a week earlier

and we were thrilled to have him there with us.

He's 7 Years Old

2008-08-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

Happy 7th Birthday Buddy!

He's very special to this grandma!! We live in the same neighborhood, attend the same church and he wants to spend the night every weekend! He calls me on the phone to share silly stories or ask questions that he thinks his parents don't have the right answer to. He loves to help me bake brownies or cookies and plans to be a baker one day and own his own shop. If you ask him, he will give you the details and design of his bakery. I love for him to share his big dreams with me!!

Proud parents of this special young man!

He's doing a pretty good job of raising them and teaching them what they need to know about parenting!

Best friends!!

They've been best friends since they were just preschoolers. They went to Kindergarten and 1st grade together but the 2nd graders will attend separate schools this year. They'll be lost without each other!

Can you believe she's about 6 months older than him?

What kid doesn't love to go to Peter Piper Pizza? He's no different. He loves to spend $10 in tokens to earn tickets to buy $2 worth of toys! It's the challenge, I guess!

Here he is with his new guitar and amplifier! He thinks he's a rock star now! He's actually pretty good on it! More than anything...he looks VERY COOL!

I know God has big plans for this young man. He has a tender heart and loves Jesus!

Be My Support, Be My Strength, Be My Bra

2008-08-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

I received an email with the following information and I checked it out on snopes.com Although I'm not sure how effective the petition may be, it's worth the effort to try and protect women who are facing breast cancer!

From a nurse...

I'll never forget the look in my patients eyes when I had to tell them they had to go home with the drains, new exercises and no breast. I remember begging the Doctors to keep these women in the hospital longer, only to hear that they would, but their hands were tied by the insurance companies. So there I sat with my patients, giving them the instructions they needed to take care of themselves, knowing full well they didn't grasp half of what I was saying, because the glazed, hopeless, frightened look spoke louder than the quiet 'Thank You' they muttered.

A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast cells/tissue. If you know anyone who has had a Mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery. It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important. Please take the time and do it!

If there was ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times. There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the 'drive-through' Mastectomy where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached. Lifetime Television has put this bill on their Web page with a petition drive to show support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name, state, and zip code.

Be My Support, Be My Strength, Be My Bra!

Boys!

2008-07-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

I love every minute with these three guys!
When they are around, you never know what to expect!

They are each so loveable, playful, ornery, and affectionate!

As they are growing...they are learning that having each other around can be a lot of fun!
Can you imagine when they are teenagers? Oh my goodness!

They're already learning the advantages of ganging up on each other, too!
Big brother has his hands full!

At the end of the day...there's always enough love and hugs to go around!

29 Years of Marriage!

2008-07-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

THEN...

Monday, Art and I celebrated 29 years of marriage! We met at church when I was in 6th grade and he was in 7th. His sister and I were friends and he told her that he was going to marry me. Of course, when she relayed the message to me I laughed. Little did I know that he would turn out to be my hubby!

We started dating when I was 16 and got engaged at the beginning of my senior year in high school (hard to believe). I turned 18 in May, graduated high school in June and we were married in July of 1979. I was 18, he was 19 and we didn't really have a plan for our future. We just knew that we loved each other and believed that God had a plan for our lives together. It's not necessarily the best way to jump into marriage but that's the honest truth!

I was recalling a funny story recently. We had been married a short time and were having a little disagreement. I was upset and stepped outside the house and was leaning against the wall thinking. Just then, I heard Art call out through the screen door..."if you walk out that door, don't plan on coming back." He had no idea I was already outside the door! Eventually, he came to look for me and found me outside crying. He laughed and said something like "don't be silly, get inside the house". I just remember us laughing our heads off about it later!

It seems like our life has been a roller coaster. Oh, I'm not referring to our marriage, in fact, I'm happy to say that we've only experienced minor rifts in our 29 years together. I'm just referring to the joys and trials that God has allowed in our life. You know when you get on the roller coaster how you're ready for a thrill, a little anxious and maybe slightly nervous. You get on the ride with your companion, buckle up and hold on. The ride starts out slow but quickly you're moving upward anticipating what may come next. You've got your hands in the air, feeling brave, laughing and living it up. You reach the top but then the ride takes a plunge, your heart is pounding and you may have to pull your hands back down to hold on. You're whipped around a corner or two, laughing and screaming, looking forward, enjoying the ride! Things come at you quickly, like an unexpected twist or turn but there are sections of the track that allow you to regain your composer and throw your hands back in the air with confidence. Then, when you least expect it, you're descending at what seems like an incredible speed and you feel like you can't catch your breath. You're thrown into a loop, just holding on, trying to focus, thankful that you're buckled in! It's almost overwhelming and you wonder when the ride will be over. Just then you feel the roller coaster car slowing down and coming to a stop. You look at your companion with relief and then you're faced with a big decision...should we do it again? My answer is YES...with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, I would do it again and I can't imagine ever doing this life without Art, the love of my life and God...who keeps me buckled up and safe for the ride!

NOW!

2008-07-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July!

I'm Proud To Be An American (watch video here)
Written By Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away.

I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, '
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston and New York to L.A.
, There's pride in every American heart and it's time we stand and say:

I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, '
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.

Remember when...

2008-07-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

I've been reading this book, "I Need Your Strength Lord", by Emilie Barnes. It was a gift from a friend when I learned I had BC and it's full of encouraging words of hope! It's a book about finding God's strength amid distressing circumstances.

I would like to share a little bit of the book with you!

"Remember when...

Children just love to play that game. They love to hear and tell and retell family stories, memorizing the particular set of happenings and experiences that made the family what it is. Children understand instinctively that hope for tomorrow is built on memories of yesterday.

In other words, though hope is a forward-looking quality, it is strengthened by looking backward---especially when we look backward with eyes of faith. The more you look back in gratitude for what God has done for you in the past, and the more you retell the stories of his work in your life, the more easily you'll believe that God will do good things in the future.

Our memories can be so short, sometimes---and I'm not talking about forgetting where we put the car keys! We forget so easily the laws God has given us for our own benefit, the guidelines that are intended to help us live in hope. We forget as well the gifts of grace that shape our lives---the miracles of help and encouragement and redemption that keep us moving around and between and beyond the barriers in our lives. And this forgetfulness is one of the primary reasons we lose hope.

And so it's important to look back and remember. It's important to tell and retell the stories of who we were and what God has done in our lives and what he requires of us. The more care we take in preserving these tales of how God has worked in the past, the more powerful and realistic our hope will be---and the more hope we'll be able to share with others.

It really works. As we tell each other such stories, recounting the times we've seen God work in our lives---our discouragement fades and our hope grows more confident."

YOUR WHOLE LIFE CAN BE A STORY OF HOPE IF YOU LEARN HOW TO HEAR IT AND TELL IT! ~Emilie Barnes

So, my friend, what has God done for you in the past that gives you hope for the future? I would love to hear your stories of hope!

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the people. ~Psalm 77:11-14

Fill 'er Up

2008-06-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the plastic surgeon for a "fill up" and then we stopped by the gas station to get another type of fill up. Both were painful!

Can you believe these gas prices? We sure have learned to give more thought to our frequent trips out and about. We opt to stay closer to home and find ourselves asking, "do we really need to go there"? When we do go out, we try to make the most of the trip by taking care of as much business as possible.

This morning we saw gas for $3.99 and we got excited...how pathetic!!

Cruisin' for Breast Cancer on the Cruise

2008-06-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't go on a cruise but my good friend Beth did recently!! She was on a cruise with her hubby and daughter and had an opportunity to participate in the On Deck for the Cure walk! She said 100 people walked for the cure and raised $1,000! It was freezing that morning, overcast and windy but she did it for me (and others)! She's the one in the picture with the knee brace on and she's having surgery next week! What a friend!

It was really awesome when she emailed me and said that she had thought about me 22 nautical miles off the coast of Mexico! I guess it was the next best thing to being there, right?

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends! The gals in this picture are my friends who meet at my home for Bible study! Each one of them have a special place in my heart and they have prayed me through this journey and fight against breast cancer!

I've Been Tagged for the Favorite Four

2008-06-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I've never done one of these before but Sherry tagged me, so here it goes!

Four jobs I've had:
1. Clerical
2. Transcriber (sat with headphones listening to cassette tapes and typing up accident reports for an insurance company...boring! Didn't last long!!)
3. Assistant for special needs preschool class. Preschool teacher one year at a Christian school.
4. Realtor

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. While You Were Sleeping
2. Speed
3. Miss Congeniality
4. My Girl

Four places I've lived:
1. Hawaii (only first six months of my life)
2. California (9 years)
3. Arizona (37 years)
4. Final destination...heaven

Four TV shows I watch:
1. Law & Order
2. CSI
3. American Gladiators
4. Extreme Makeover

Four places I've been:
1. South Dakota - Mt. Rushmore
2. Kansas
3. Oklahoma
4. Nebraska
(Quite the world traveler, huh?)

Four people who email me regularly:
1. Beth Munoz
2. Karen (my girl brother)
3. Karen Lipps
4. Stacey Thomas

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mexican (green corn tamales)
2. Italian (eggplant parmesan)
3. Asian (orange chicken)
4. American (chicken fried chicken)

Four places I would love to visit:
1. Hawaii (want to go there with my hubby)
2. Kentucky (to see my friend Melanie)
3. California (love taking the grand kids there!)
4. New York

Four things I'm looking forward to in the coming year:
1. Possible vacation with my family
2. Celebrating 1 year cancer free in October
3. Reconstruction surgery and getting these darn expanders out!
4. Selling houses...what a novel idea!!

Four friends I'm tagging:
1. Shawnette
2. Donna
3. Beth (cuz she's starting her blog soon!)
4. Everyone else has done it!!

Blessings in Ordinary Days!

2008-06-24T23:07:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been blessed by two strangers while out in my community. It just so happens that each of these women were breast cancer survivors!

First, I was shopping in JC Penney's with my sister (or as Seth calls her, my girl brother) where I was checking out the clearance racks in the kids department. Another gal was shopping in the same area but I wasn't really aware of her because I was on a mission...looking for a bargain! Then, the lady excused herself and spoke to me, asking if I was a breast cancer survivor. She explained that she, too was a survivor and for her it had been a couple of years now. Instantly, there's a bond! She went on to tell me that she is planning to participate in the Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk and asked if she could put my name on her shirt. Isn't that awesome? We chatted for a short while and she just kept telling me to be strong and fight.

The second encounter was in Walmart. This time, I was focused on finding the right paper towels...you know, there are so many choices these days! You know how you get that feeling that someone is looking at you? So, I turned to see an older woman standing there staring at me with such a friendly smile. She sheepishly asked if I had had breast cancer and was I going through treatment. I explained that I had completed my chemo and she went on to say that she, too, was a survivor of many years. She asked if she could give me a hug. She began fumbling in her purse and asked if I would accept a gift? She presented cross bookmarks that she had made out of plastic canvas and ribbon and asked me to choose one . She asked if Sherry was my sister (gotta love it) so I introduced her as my youngest daughter. She offered one of her cross bookmarks to Sherry, as well. She makes these and then carries them with her so that she can give them to cancer patients that she meets. Isn't that sweet?

I love how God puts wonderful little blessings in the middle of an ordinary day!

Reconstruction is a Pain...Literally!

2008-06-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

This may be too personal for some of you, so I apologize in advance and you may want to skip this post.

For those who care to read on...
I am continuing the reconstruction process towards eventually having implants. I'll be honest and say, it's not been an easy process for me. My first frustration came when the first set of expanders were defective and they had to replace them 3 months ago and start the process all over. I seriously considered having them removed and not getting new ones but they say it's better for your back and spine because your body is used to having the weight of breasts and now your body is trying to adjust to having them removed. So, I chose to get the replacements and so far, the new expanders are working well! It requires me to make regular (usually weekly) visits to the plastic surgeon to have the expanders filled with saline in order to stretch and expand the area where the implants will be placed eventually.

Today was my routine visit to get "filled up". Normally, these visits leave me a little uncomfortable for a couple of days but today it left me in pain! So much so that I've had to take pain medicine tonight and I haven't had to take pain medicine since surgery. I feel like I have broken ribs on my left side and it hurts to move. Oh, and sneezing...oh, my goodness!! I'm hoping the pain will be gone when I wake up in the morning or else I may be making a phone call to the doc!

Catching Up

2008-06-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, you know it's been too long when you forget how to sign in on your blog! I've been a bit out of touch but that doesn't mean I haven't had bloggable moments and I promise I will be blogging about some of them soon!

Celebrated my birthday in May, with the family! Yep...47!

Here are some answers to FAQ, to bring you up to date on my life:

1. No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth!

2. No, we didn't go to San Diego.

3. My dad is out of the hospital and has been back at the care center for 3+ weeks now.

4. We babysat my two youngest grandsons (1 and almost 4) for an entire week and we survived...in fact, we had a lot of fun!

5. Yes, my real estate business is s l o w l y picking up but the market is still a big challenge!

6. Yes, Sherry is still walking and we are rejoicing!

7. Yes, I'm moving forward with the reconstruction process but I have a ways to go before my next surgery.

8. I'm feeling good but having a few problems that I will be seeing the doctor about this week.

9. Yes, my hair is growing out. It's only about an inch long and too short to do anything stylish yet!

10. Yes, Art is still working for PVC and no we haven't broke ground yet but God willing, it won't be much longer!

11. Yes, it is HOT here in sunny Arizona, in fact about 120 these days! Ugh! (It's a dry heat, though, right?)

12. No, we don't have a swimming pool...I wish!!

So, that's about it for now! God continues to meet our needs and bless us abundantly. Each day is a gift from His hand and I am so grateful!

Jesus said, "with men it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God."

Incredible Blessing

2008-05-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

Recently, our pastor asked me if I would share my testimony and the journey that God has taken me on the past few years. God had already placed a desire in my heart to share my story with the hope of encouraging others, so when Pastor Greg asked me, I knew it was a "God thing". My desire is for people to know that with God by their side, they can handle whatever trials life brings their way!

What an honor it was for me to share my story on Mother's Day weekend! You can watch the video here. (click on the video for May 11/12 and my story is near the middle of the video) I pray that God will bless you and give you courage and strength to handle the storms in your life! I can testify to the peace and joy He alone can give! Trust Him with your life today!

Praise be to the God...who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The church surprised us with a trip for our family to go to San Diego! WOW! Yes, I cried when Pastor Greg told us! We are so blessed to be a part of such a fantastic group of believers at Palm Valley Church!!

I thank my God every time I remember you! ~Philippians 1:3

Reflections of a Mom

2008-05-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that these two little girls are grown and I have three grandsons! Where did the years go?

I remember when I was 18 and the doctor told me I would never have children because of the severe endometriosis that started when I was 16. Art and I were married in July of 1979 and by September, the doctor had me scheduled for a hysterectomy. The night before surgery, I called and cancelled the surgery and told the doctor I just couldn't do it...I wanted to be a mom so bad...I needed more time!

With the help of a specialist, I eventually gave birth to each of the girls. Stacey in March 1981 and Sherry in November 1982. Three months after Sherry was born, I hemorrhaged and had no choice but to have a hysterectomy...I was 21 at the time.

I am so thankful that God allowed me to have my two beautiful daughters! What a blessing they have been. I loved the "little girl years" and had a lot of fun with them during their "teenage years"! I've never forgotten the two miracles that God performed in my life when He gave them life!

My first Mother's Day was so special as I celebrated being a new mom. It was an incredible feeling as I held my little baby girl in my arms. Then, what a special time when I had two little girls to hold in my arms on Mother's Day! This year was another memorable Mother's Day as I celebrated with my two daughters by my side...their arms wrapped around me, this time! They have been two of my biggest supporters during my fight against breast cancer. God has truly blessed me!

I love you girls...you're amazing young ladies!

Update on Dad

2008-05-14T00:58:00.000-07:00

It appears that he has a staph infection in his blood. They are concerned that the infection may have gone to his heart, as well, and will be doing a scope to decide.

My Dad

2008-05-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dad was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia on Mother's Day. Yesterday, we also learned that he has an infection in his dialysis port and they think it has spread to his blood. He is in pain and feeling weak. They have him on strong antibiotic IV's while we are waiting on results of his blood work. (sounds too familiar)

Mom told the nurse on Sunday, "well, we spent Valentine's Day and our anniversary here, so we thought we'd come back for Mother's Day". I'm glad she can smile about it all.

I would appreciate your prayers for them.

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

(From left to right...my brother, Steve, my sister in law, Cindy, Art, me, my brother in law, John & my sister Karen with my mom and dad this past Christmas.)

My mom is a remarkable woman! I admire her for her strong relationship with the Lord and I cherish my childhood memories of her sitting at the table reading her bible and praying. What an example she was for me growing up.

(Here are my parents with their grandchildren and their spouses, with the exception of my niece Danah and her husband Tom, who live in WI.)

My mom has faithfully prayed for each of her grandchildren from the time they were born. The grandkids had a lot of fun times at grandma's house, playing and swimming in the pool. I love to hear them reminiscing and laughing about those memories, now.

(Here they are with their great grandchildren, Jaden, Evan, Seth, Dalton, Jacob, Josh & Lexie and we still have room for more!)

Great grandma can't get enough lovin' from the great grandkids! She loves to read them books and has even been caught running around chasing them with squirt guns! Can you believe she's 77 years old?

Thank you mom for the legacy you are leaving behind! You are such a blessing in my life!

Milestones

2008-05-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, our pastor did a short video and in it showed a pile of river rocks, representing the milestones in our lives. It struck a chord with me and lead me to be creative with my Women's Home Team this week. We took small stones and wrote on them different milestones in our life...blessings and trials.

Here are a few of the milestones in my life:

1971 Salvation
1971 Baptism
1973 Met Art
1977 Female health issues began
1979 Married Art
1981 Stacey was born
1982 Sherry was born
1983 Hysterectomy which lead to depression
1988 Missionary work
1994 - 2000 Youth Ministry
2000 Jeff & Stacey were married
2001 Joined Palm Valley Church
2001, 2004, 2008 Grandsons were born
2002 Became a Realtor
2004 Sherry's Illness (she went missing for 5 months)
2007 Women's Home Team started
2007 Breast Cancer

These stones gradually shaped me and lead me toward the purpose God had planned for me. I was meant to be this person at this time for His plan and purpose!

In trials remember 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal!"

In blessings remember Psalm 107:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever!"

We each gathered up our milestones and placed them in a glass jar and set a small candle on top. As a reminder that Jesus is our light and His light should shine through us in blessings and in trials.

Let your light shine!

One Man's Trash...Another Man's Treasure

2008-05-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my girls planned a HUGE yard sale to help with some of my medical expenses. When they first approached me about the idea, I was not in favor of it, at all. I have difficulty receiving help or charity and would much rather be the giver than receiver. However, they are quite persistent (this I've known since their childhood) and they convinced me to give them my blessing.

It was an incredible two days of organized chaos! I couldn't believe the trailer and garage full of donated items to sell! I was a bit overwhelmed with it all and I wasn't even the one doing the work. They had two days of hard work, sweat and flies! However, in their normal fashion, they laughed and had fun doing it together! It was hard to imagine them selling some of this stuff but like they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure!

Each day, there was a steady stream of people coming and going. The girls had posted a sign that stated their cause, "our mom is fighting breast cancer". In addition to all the stuff they sold, many people were handing them change or dollar bills as a donation. They heard many stories of loved ones who had died from cancer or happy stories of cancer survivors. The end result was enough money to make a significant difference on medical bills! Once again, God is taking care of the details of my life!

Thank you girls for your hard work and for giving so much of yourselves to demonstrate your love! You've been a blessing to me from the day you were born and a tremendous source of encouragement these past 7 months! I can't imagine my life without you and I'm so proud to be your mom! I love you more than words can express!

Too Many Die From Breast Cancer!

2008-04-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Sherry was buying a pink ribbon jewel for her cell phone earlier this week and the young cashier asked, in a sweet voice, "that's for breast cancer, right?" Sherry told her it was and the young girl went on to tell us how her grandmother had lost 3 sisters to breast cancer. She is scared, that she too, will have it someday. She said she had a scare while showering and saw blood but it turned out to be nothing. Thank the Lord! I told her my story in short form and how I found my lump while showering. I encouraged her to be diligent about her self-exams and she assured me she would be.

As we parted, she spoke with such sincerity and said, "God bless you and I hope everything goes well". I was so touched by the gentle spirit of this young girl. Even now, I'm teary eyed as I write about it and I'm reminded how much I have to celebrate today! Too many people die from breast cancer!

Do you know the statistics according to breastcancer.org ?

Every three minutes a woman in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer. In 2006, an estimated 212,920 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed, along with 61,980 new cases of non-invasive breast cancer. And 40,970 women are expected to die in 2006 from this disease.

Breast cancer is the leading cancer among white and African American women. African American women are more likely to die from this disease.

Breast cancer incidence in women has increased from one in 20 in 1960 to one in eight today.

Please remember to do your self-exam! Remind your loved ones, too! It may be something that you're uncomfortable talking about but it's necessary! We may not have a cure for breast cancer but we can do our part to lessen the effects of this horrible disease. Early detection and timely treatment are SO important, as I have experienced first hand.

Life is precious! I would rather live without breast than die with them...you can quote me on that one!

Why Am I Still Awake?

2008-04-22T02:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's 2:15 a.m. and I'm still awake...what's going on? For the past several days I haven't been able to stay awake past 9 p.m. and usually fall asleep on the couch until the big guy is ready to head to bed around 10 or 10:30. Needless to say, he's been sound asleep for several hours now. Sherry humored me until around midnight and then she couldn't take it any longer. Why am I still awake? Who knows!

I'm going to read my Bible, pray for my family and friends and hopefully drift off to sleep for the night...at least what's left of it! Ever have one of those nights? I'm not feeling anxious, not worrying about anything...just wide awake! I know once I drift off, I'll enjoy a peaceful night!

Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. ~Proverbs 3:24

Dad's Home

2008-04-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

My dad was able to come home after 2 weeks in the hospital and 7 weeks in the care center. As a family, we weren't sure this day would come but we're glad he's able to be back at home with mom. He's kind of like that Energizer Bunny! He does have some medical procedures to be done in the near future, along with his dialysis three times a week, so mom is going to have her hands full. All in all, he's doing very well! It was nice to see him back in his comfy recliner! Thanks for your prayers for him!

I Don't Need Pity!

2008-04-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the girls and I did a little shopping because I needed gifts for friends who had babies recently. When I paid for my purchases the cashier gave me a $10 reward card for spending $25. I wasn't expecting it and thought COOL!

Stacey checked out in another lane and didn't get the reward card so when I showed her mine, she went back to inquire. After a little negotiation, she was finally handed the $10 reward card.

Sherry checked out at the same register as I had and when she joined us outside...no reward card! We were puzzled! So she went back in to ask the cashier and he wasn't going to give her one. She mentioned that I had just come through his line and I had received one and her sister had also. He said, well, I felt sorry for her and made a jester referencing my scarf and indicating the obvious "cancer patient". He proceeded to hand Sherry a $10 reward card, regardless. When Sherry came back outside and told us what happened, she and Stacey were furious! They wanted me to march back in there and say something. I was tempted. I sat in the car for a moment with mixed emotions. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad. It was nice that he was trying to be kind hearted but I don't need pity from anyone!

The cards said $10 reward when you spend $25 or more, which we each had done. However, their current incentive was supposed to be for spending $50 or more, which we didn't know until later. I guess the good thing about it was that the girls and I each have $10 to spend in a few days but I don't look forward to returning to that store anytime soon!

Detour

2008-04-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

This journey I've been traveling for the past six months has certainly had a few detours and this week was no different! Monday I was taking Sherry to an appointment when I started chilling and feeling a little sick. By the time we arrived back home, I was running a temp of 102.5 so I popped some Aleve, wrapped up in a blanket and laid down. About 45 minutes later I took my temp and it was 103.2. Art came home and suggested we go to the ER and I initially refused but then he convinced me it was necessary. By the time I arrived at the hospital my temp was 103.5. Being a "cancer patient" and having a "compromised immune system" they quickly whisked me off with a mask on and put me in a room away from everyone else. Everyone who came and went from the room had to wear a mask. I thought this was a bit extreme because I thought I probably had a bladder or kidney infection. The doc came in and ordered some tests and agreed with my suggested diagnosis and said I would probably need some antibiotics and be on my way. Before I knew it, the doc came in again and said it wasn't what we suspected and that I would need to be admitted and seen by an infectious disease doc to determine the cause of the infection and fever. This wasn't going the way I imagined, at all!

I ended up staying in the hospital from Monday through Friday while I received strong IV antibiotics. I had a CT scan of my stomach and they noticed a "shadow" and thickening of my colon with inflammation. Thank the Lord that I had just had the PET scan done about 10 days prior. Although they haven't yet determined the source of infection, I had the pleasure of another colonoscopy and EDG. Of course, once you've had cancer, they always have to rule out any cancer lurking in the "shadows", which they did!! They said my colon issue was not the source of the fever but could be a result of the chemo.

The other possibile source of infection was my chemo port so they removed it on Thursday afternoon. They are culturing it to see if it could have been the source of infection and fever. If not, I guess we'll never know.

Some of my friends from Bible study stopped by on Wednesday since we couldn't have our normal get-together at my house. I love these gals and what a blessing to see their smiling faces!

I also had a visit from my friend Connie who always has a way of making me laugh! She has some strange attraction to my bald head!!

I'm glad to be back home! I will continue the antibiotics for another week and hopefully that will be the end of the infection!!

Answered Prayer!

2008-03-31T23:43:00.000-07:00

What more can I say, than God showed up in a BIG way, again! The oncologist walked in this morning and said the PET scan showed no evidence of cancer!! Yes, I asked my question about "how sure are you" and he seems very confident that if the spots were cancer, they would have shown up on the PET scan. The way he explained it, is that the bone scan showed the spots as "non-specific" so that's why he ordered the x-rays. He wasn't satisfied with just comparing the two of them, so he ordered the PET scan. Now, he feels quite confident.

I'm not sure it's sunk in with me as I still feel a little reserved about it all. Don't get me wrong...I'm thrilled and rejoicing about the good news! I think I just need some time to digest it all and wrap my mind around it.

Thank you for your prayers! My faith muscle is bulging today!

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. ~Psalm 36:5

PET Scan

2008-03-26T16:04:00.001-07:00

The PET scan is scheduled for Friday morning. so please pray for specific answers. I'm not sure what will happen based on the results of this scan. Either way, we'll be dealing with 2 out of 3 odds, meaning 2 will show spots or 2 will not. Even if this one doesn't show the spots, then I'm left wondering about the one that did and I'm sure you can understand my concern. When we're dealing with cancer, I want to feel 100% confident of the outcome.

Some ask...how are you handling all the stress? Or they say, I could never be that strong. Well, let me tell you, you never know how you will handle a challenge in life until it is placed before you and often times there is no warning. Fortunately for me, I already had a strong faith in God because He has brought me through some difficult times before. He has stretched my faith in the past so that I knew I could trust Him again! There have been plenty of anxious and emotional moments and I constantly have to place my trust in the Lord and not let worry overwhelm me. Honestly, some days are easier than others but God knows my heart and my thoughts and I'm honest before Him. I ask Him for strength and courage to be used by Him in this circumstance in my life. That is truly my hearts desire.

Our faith has been compared to a muscle, the more it stretches, the stronger it becomes. The best thing you can do is make sure your faith in God is strong enough to carry you through whatever journey unfolds. Challenges WILL come to all of us, in one form or another, throughout our life. Don't wait for a crisis before you stretch that muscle of faith. You wouldn't wait until the day of a marathon to prepare for it, neither should you wait to build your relationship with God.

Thanks for letting me share from my heart!

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. ~Psalm 55:22

Easter Celebration!

2008-03-24T15:41:00.000-07:00

Little J liked playing with the eggs. Next year he'll be walking and right in the middle of the action.

The search was on for Scooter!

He had so much fun looking for eggs.

I love this age...each time he found one was total excitement for him!

Making mommy happy with a little pose!

All he really cared about was opening all the eggs and finding the surprises inside!

Buddy's turn to satisfy mom with the Easter "kodak moment".
He thinks he's getting too big for this stuff! Of course, he's
not too big for the fun and goodies!

Being grandparents is one of the greatest rewards in life!

Me and my girls!

There's nothing like spending the day with my family!

I know there's so much more to Easter than bunnies and eggs! I'm thankful for the time set aside to worship my Savior and reflect on His death, burial and resurrection!! What a day to rejoice! It's because of His sacrifice that I have hope and security for my future.

Having cancer has truly changed my life. It's made me appreciate, even more, the security, peace and hope that I have in Jesus Christ!

More Waiting...Waiting Is So Hard!

2008-03-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

I finally heard from the oncologists office Friday but the news was really nothing more than I already knew!! The bone scan shows two spots and the x-rays do not! It's frustrating to have waited this long to hear what I already knew!! Hmm! The next step is to have another PET scan done and they will contact me the first of next week with the scheduled time, once they've received the authorization from insurance. More waiting...waiting is so hard!

This past week was very frustrating with dad still in the care center and being transported for dialysis 4 times a week now. Then mom ended up in the ER and spending a night at the hospital. I'm exhausted mentally & emotionally and maybe feeling a little numb to what's going on. I can quickly feel overwhelmed and find myself just going through the motions of the day, just trying to manage!

Even the little things in life have the potential to "send me over the edge"! We woke up Wednesday morning to find that thieves had stolen two flower pots from our front yard! Art and I just looked at each other in disbelief! We don't dare utter the words, "what else could go wrong?" We don't want to know!

I was catching up on my Route 66, reading through the Bible in a year with our church, when God brought this verse of encouragement to me:

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

~Psalm 62:5 & 6

So, here I am Lord, waiting quietly before You!

Uncertainty About The Spots

2008-03-14T16:49:00.001-07:00

Surgery went well on Tuesday...once again, I slept right through it! As always, I was happy to see my family when I woke up! There was a little change at the last moment when my oncologist decided to have the surgeon leave in my chemo port...hmmm??? This is a result of the two spots they saw on the bone scan the previous Friday. My sister picked up the films and brought them to me so that Art could take them to Valley Radiology today and have them compared with their x-rays (at the doctors request). We haven't heard anything back from them yet, so of course, we're just wondering what's around the corner and praying about the outcome!!

I felt a little anxious because I had never been a patient at St. Joes but since that is where my doc wanted to schedule surgery and he's a key player, I decided I would comply with his wishes! Two of my friends from my Home Team (Bible study) work at St. Joes and so I was greeted and hugged by each of them before my surgery and before they went home from working all night! Thanks Beth and Colette for taking time to encourage me!

I'm pretty sore but getting better each day. I said the doc lied to me when he said it wouldn't be as bad as last time...guess he's never had expanders put in his chest!! Thanks for your prayers for my recovery and the uncertainty about the spots. Please pray that the doc will have wisdom as he evaluates and makes decisions!

Bone Scan and More X-Rays

2008-03-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your prayers about my hip. I talked with the PA at the oncologist office today and she said the hip scan was normal. Then she went on to say that they did find two "spots" they were concerned about...one on my 9th rib on the left side and one on the right side of my skull. The PA asked if I could remember any serious injuries to those parts of my body. Hmmm...NO! So, off I went for more x-rays this afternoon. I was very concerned about these "spots" and I called my family and a few people to ask for prayer. I was feeling a little anxious about the spots and had questions about the surgery tomorrow. Fortunately, a few short hours later, the oncologist office called to say they got the radiologist report and the x-rays were normal. Praise the Lord! They want us to pick up a copy of the bone scan and bring it to them so they can compare it with the x-rays.

I guess once you've been diagnosed with cancer of any type, the possibility and concern will always be there that it could spread or reoccur. I'm not sure if you ever get to a point where it's not in the back of your mind. As I continue to trust the Lord with my health I want to be sure and give Him praise for the way he has worked in my life these past 5 months! It's been an incredible journey, for sure!

Thank you for your continued prayers! It's such a comfort to know that so many people are lifting me up before the Lord. Tomorrow, as I go in for surgery, I'm trusting God for that incredible peace He has promised and has faithfully provided in the past!

At times I've thought it would be nice to know what lies around the corner in my future. Today, I'm thankful that life only unfolds one day at a time! God only gives us what we can handle and in the portions we can digest.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." ~Matthew 6:34

A Little Unexpected Twist

2008-03-08T23:15:00.001-08:00

Last week when I visited my oncologist, we discussed the pain I had been experiencing in my hip. I wasn't overly concerned because I was told that joint pain can be a result of the chemo. The doc kind of through me for a loop when he ordered a bone scan and an x-ray. He said we needed to make sure there was no cancer or signs of metastasis. Wow...I didn't see that coming and I don't like the "M" word anymore than I like the "C" word!! I guess once you're diagnosed with cancer, you have to assume that cancer could be hiding anywhere in your body.

I went for the scan yesterday and to my surprise, they scanned my entire body and not just the hip. I guess I might as well get the biggest bang for my buck, as they say, huh? Art was teasing me about glowing since they injected me with the radioactive solution. He keeps me laughing!

Of course, I don't have the results yet but my oncologist office called while I was on the table and requested the report and they promised it first thing Monday morning. I'm hoping to hear something shortly afterwards. My surgery (to repair my flat) is scheduled for Tuesday and they just want to make sure everything is clear beforehand. I'm grateful that the doc is being so thorough and not taking any chances, although, I believe there's nothing seriously wrong.

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers as I continue to trust the Lord each day!

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. ~ Psalm 91:1-2

My little Buddy wanted me to post this pic of him with his dukes up. Everytime I look at it, it reminds me that I may be fighting a battle but I can still smile! Thanks Buddy!!

Happy Birthday Stacey!!

2008-03-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

Stacey was an answer to prayer and a dream come true! We had tried to conceive from the time we were married in 1979 and it felt like an eternity! Finally, after lots of prayer, tears and medical intervention, the exciting news came that a baby was on the way. Back then (makes me sound old) we didn't find out the sex of the baby, in fact, the ultra sound pictures were so new, it was hard to tell it was a baby! Regardless, we knew that this child was truly a gift from God and we just prayed for a healthy baby (okay, secretly I hoped for a little girl).

She was born on March 5, 1981 in Phoenix to parents who didn't have much to offer monetarily but that didn't seem to matter at the time. We were excited as we awaited the birth of our first child and we knew that somehow we would manage to provide. We had a home and hearts that desired to be parents and big faith in our God.

I remember coming home from the hospital, a young 19 year old mom, with this new precious child. I remember feeling like I was "playing house" and someone was going to knock at the door and take her away. From the time I was a little girl, I dreamed about being a mom and it was finally a reality!

(Big Papa had his hands full!)

Now, our little girl is a grown woman and the mother of three adorable little boys! Our joys have been multiplied many times over as our family has grown. Each child brings something new and unique...characteristics all their own.

Last night, we all celebrated at the restaurant of her choosing, Carlos O'Briens. It's fun to watch her and Jeff with their little guys...brings back fond memories!

Life changes when you become a parent and for me there are no regrets. My children have truly been one of my greatest joys in life and I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat!

The girls and I have so much fun together! I love to spend time with them, talking, laughing, shopping, watching movies...there's never a dull moment when we're together!

You may be 27, Stacey, but in our hearts you're still our little girl and we're so very proud of you! You have a heart of gold and a willingness to be used by God. He must be so proud of you, too! Happy Birthday!

Kids Are So Funny!

2008-03-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I visited my dad at the care center, along with Sherry, Stacey and the boys. As you can imagine, there's never a dull moment with three little guys in tow. Here is just a glimpse into our visit...

Buddy (6 years old) was having a discussion with Great Grandpa about his Navy ball cap that he proudly wears. Buddy was admiring the American flag pin and then questioned him about the other unique pin on the hat. Great Papa (as they call him) told him that pin was very special and that it had been given to him by the President of the U.S. to which he quickly asked...which one, Abraham Lincoln? Needless to say we all burst out in laughter!

Scooter (3 years old) is very inquisitive and was having a hard time sitting still and visiting. He was curiously checking out everything in Great Papa's new room. He opened up the freezer door of the little refrigerator and declared...that's where you keep your clock! It was the thermometer! Again, the laughter erupted!

Time with my grandsons is always priceless! On this particular day, it was good medicine for my dad and it was great to see him laugh so hard!

Show Us Yours

2008-03-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

My friend is looking for paint color ideas for her living/family room and asked for people to post pics of theirs. So here is a pic of mine! We chose a color called Dapper Tan at the design center when we purchased our home, so the entire house is two tone. It looks great but needed some additional color to perk it up a bit. I picked out a garnet color (ICI Brand) for an accent color in the great room and my hubby did the work. It turned out beautifully as always...he does great work and makes it look so easy!

My Heart...Christ's Home

2008-03-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

This morning, our home is buzzing with repairmen from various trades. January was the one year mark of us moving into our home and it's time to have repairs made under the one year warranty. My hubby diligently made a list of everything that needed attention and submitted a request for service. Some of these items were things we've had to tolerate for several months as we waited for the appropriate time to submit our request. Then, we had to wait for the repairs to be scheduled and the different trades to come and take the appropriate action.

It struck me, how my heart is Christ's home and all too often it's in need of repair! Perhaps it's a wrong attitude, doubt, fear, laziness, etc. The good news is that my heart comes with a lifetime warranty!

I don't have to wait for the annual repair list to be created! I don't have to wait to submit a work order and then wait for repairs to be scheduled. Instead, I simply go before the Lord, as soon as I realize there's a problem, and ask Him for assistance. He's available 24/7 and is waiting for me to call on Him for help. He responds and immediately goes to work repairing my heart. It's up to me to do proper maintenance and keep it in good condition but when I fail and it's in need of repair again...He's always there! His love never fails!

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalms 73:26

What A Sweet Surprise

2008-03-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

One night last week, Sherry and I stopped by and enjoyed a cranberry fizzie drink at Village Inn with my mom while she had dinner. Sherry and I had already ate but mom needed to grab a bite to eat before visiting my dad at the care center. I didn't want her to eat alone, so I told her we would meet her there.

As we walked in, I saw a couple of familiar faces. These were folks we knew from a church we attended in the north valley years ago. I had seen him a year or so ago when I found out they lived across from a house I had listed for sale but I hadn't seen them since then. I stopped by their table and spoke with them briefly. Of course, they didn't know about my breast cancer so I shared how God had been watching over me and I explained that I was just meeting my mom before we went to visit my dad.

Long story short...when we got ready to leave, the waitress told us they had picked up our tab!! They were already gone when we found out but I'm sending a thank you note in the mail! How wonderful to know that there are such caring people in our world! We hear so much about "bad people" and the things they do but it's comforting to know there are "good people" with big hearts out there! We were fortunate to encounter these two and be blessed by their kindness and I know that God will bless them for their generosity! Thanks John & Nina...for being a blessing in our lives!

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ~1 Peter 4:10

My Favorite Doctor

2008-02-26T21:47:00.000-08:00

Here's my favorite doctor! He's too cute, isn't he? He insisted on wearing his doctor scrubs to the hospital to visit his great grandpa last week! Of course he had to bring his doctor bag with all his gadgets, too! He listened to great grandma's heart with his stethoscope and announced "there's nothing in there"!

Speaking of doctors...

I see my oncologist this Friday for followup after my chemo. My next surgery is scheduled for March 11 and the oncologist has to give me his blessing (clearance) for the next procedure. I still have a cough hanging on and I pray that it won't delay the process.

Without going into a lot of detail, I'll just say that the next surgery is due to a defect in my expanders. If it could happen...it will happen to me, right? Well, I asked him if he could just repair them with "fix a flat" but I guess it's not that simple. However, it did make the doctor smile!! I am frustrated with the thought of another surgery, knowing that there is still more to come but I don't have much of a choice. It's just a bump on the journey and I know that God will see me through this just as He has done all along! Thanks for your continued prayers!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad

2008-02-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

My mom and dad celebrated 52 years of marriage on the 19th of February! It wasn't your typical anniversary party but we made the best of it in dad's hospital room with cake and sparkling cider.

Dad is out of ICU now and looking much better than he was when he was admitted on the 14th of February. He has suffered from heart disease for years and now his kidneys are failing and so they've started him on dialysis three times a week. Yesterday they drained 5 liters of fluid from his stomach. Today they had planned to do a biopsy of his lungs but his blood was too thin and created too much of a risk. They are hoping to do the procedure tomorrow after dialysis if his blood counts are better. We are hoping to move him to a rehab center later this week, if all goes well.

I appreciate the notes of encouragement! Please continue to pray for his strength and healing!

It's Bright Out Here!

2008-02-15T03:52:00.001-08:00

As I stepped outside Thursday afternoon, Stacey laughed as I exclaimed, wow, it's bright out here! It wasn't until then that I realized I had not been out in the daylight since last Friday. Yes, my last chemo was celebrated with horrible nausea, fatigue, and weakness which kept me couch bound for a few days! This was the worst yet, so I am so happy that it's over!! Now, I'm left with what has become my routine, throat and mouth sores and a little fatigue still hanging on. I'm trying to get relief with the doctor's special "miracle mouthwash" which contains Benadryl and about 4 other ingredients that the pharmacists mixes together by written prescription. Swish and swallow...it tastes horribly and it's a "miracle" if you can get it down but at 4:30 in the morning, that's what I'm doing to try and get some relief!

So, what brought me out of my hibernation yesterday afternoon? A phone call from my mom that she was on the way to the ER with my dad. My dad, a heart patient, along with several other medical issues, is in critical condition. I wanted so badly to rush to be by mom's side but my hubby, in his wisdom, put the brakes on and made me wait until dad was admitted. With my compromised immune system, I couldn't take a chance on catching the "epizooty" (as we call it) from all the hacking, gagging a puking that goes on in the ER!

Finally, we were able to spend a few hours with my mom, dad, and siblings, to be assured that dad was stable and resting comfortably in the ICU. Please pray for him, as we aren't absolutely sure what is around the corner. His blood volume and quality is extremely low, he is loosing blood internally, and has poor kidney function from his advanced diabetes. He is being given blood and plasma transfusions through the night to stabilize him. His kidneys aren't pulling fluid off his body properly which leads him into congestive heart failure. It's a delicate situation and I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom for the doctors as they care for him.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Yes, that would be a fair statement! Prior to the phone call from my mom, I had told my family that I was feeling more like myself! Although it hurts to swallow now, food is more appealing and I was feeling a bit stronger! I'm thankful the phone call came today, rather than a few days ago, when I wouldn't have been able to make it to the hospital at all!

My Valentine's dinner would have been appropriate for Little J, my 8 month old grandson...mashed potatoes with gravy, and over-cooked squash (can we say hospital food). Honestly, the pizza under the heat lamp looked more appealing but I was looking for anything that was soft to swallow!

His Devine Plan

2008-02-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

Cancer's effect on my body
Left a devastating change.
As I stood gazing in the mirror,
The reality was strange.

With overwhelming emotions,
My thoughts were racing.
Trying to accept the journey
And the reflection I was facing.

Then, I was reminded,
This scarred body is not mine
But the Creator of Life,
Who chose the design.

My life is surrendered,
To the King of Kings.
His strength, joy, and peace,
Are why my heart sings.

What a comfort to know,
God's holding my hand.
My past, present, and future,
Part of His devine plan!

~Susie, February 2008

Chemo Completed!!

2008-02-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, my chemo is behind me now!! Can you believe it?

I had a few moments of concern when they made me see the PA before they would administer the chemo Thursday. I had developed a cough & slight cold but they decided to start me on some antibiotics and then go ahead with the chemo, since my blood counts were good! Hallelujah!!

When I started this journey, I had no idea what to expect. As Art dropped me off for my last chemo treatment, he snapped a photo for memory sake and I thought I'd share it with you. Here I am with the IV in the port/cath in my upper chest, which allows the chemo to go directly into my main artery and then process throughout my body. Amazing isn't it? Thank God for modern medicine and the wisdom of men and women who have devoted their lives to finding new treatments to fight all types of cancer!

I look forward to the day when I can move from "cancer free" to "survivor". I've been told that you're not considered a "survivor" until you've been 5 years "cancer free". I'm four months into my journey with fifty-six months to go.

Thank you for your faithful prayers and encouragement during my treatment!

I thank my God every time I remember you! ~Philippians 1:3

Top 10

2008-02-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

You know the old saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? Well, I decided it would be fun to come up with the Top 10 positive things about being (nearly) bald!

1. I can dry my hair with a towel!
2. I can get ready in half the time!
3. I save money on hair products!
4. It brings a whole new meaning to "wash & wear"!
5. No such thing as hat hair!
6. Don't have to worry about the latest hair styles!
7. No messy hair on windy days!
8. Rainy days are not a problem!
9. No such thing as bed head!
10. No bad hair days!

So, the next time you're "pulling your hair out" over a stressful situation...think of my Top 10, relax and smile!

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Surprise Blessing

2008-01-29T05:17:00.000-08:00

The past few months have been a challenge for many different reasons! Obviously, finding out that I had cancer was devastating in itself. Then, there has been the emotions of dealing with surgeries, treatment, and physical changes.

Although I'm very thankful for our insurance, there have been so many added expenses with deductibles, co-payments each time you darken the door of a doctors office, medications, etc. The added expenses mixed with my lack of income during this time, has caused a financial strain, as well. Art and I remain confident that God will supply our needs and we're grateful for the side jobs He has provided for Art during this time.

Last week, I had a visit from Connie, a friend from work and church. I couldn't believe it when she handed me a card filled with warm wishes from Realtors, staff members, and affiliates, some I don't even know personally. Tucked inside the envelope were donations to help with some of my expenses! WOW...what a surprise...I was speechless! It was awkward for me because I would much rather be on the giving end rather than the receiving end but it was such a surprise blessing!

I continue to trust God each day for our needs! I have a few homes for sale and keep praying that one of them will sell. It would be a double blessing...for me and for my clients! The way the market is right now, it might even be considered a miracle! I am confident that God is watching out for us and will continue to provide for our needs!

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." ~Philipians 4:19

Praise You In This Storm!

2008-01-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

The week after chemo has proven to be a challenge each time. The first few days aren't too bad and then I have several days of not feeling so good. I'm just ending that week, which found me back at the doc with nasty side effects from the chemo, more lab work and medication. On top of that, it appears that I have an issue that is going to require another outpatient surgery! Ugh...I'm sure you can imagine that I wasn't thrilled when I heard that news!

My friend, Beth, gave me a CD recently, that included one of my favorite songs, Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns. This week, that song has played over and over in my head. The nurse already called to try and schedule me for surgery. When I told Art my frustration, he broke out in the chorus of this same song! It's awesome how God blesses us with music to encourage and lift our spirits.

My goal is to continue to lift my hands and praise Him in this storm and I'm reminded that every tear I cry, He holds in His hands and He never leaves my side! (Words from the song...you can listen at the above link.)

I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth! ~Psalm 121:1-2

Climb to Conquer Cancer

2008-01-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

My nephew, Johnny, is participating in the National Cancer Society's Climb to Conquer Cancer! This will be his 4th consecutive year to participate and as he says, the first year his life has been directly impacted by the disease. I'm so touched that he is passionate about this cause! This isn't just for breast cancer but all forms of cancer!

Please check out Johnny's invitation to support him on his climb or receive more information about the event, February 23 at South Mountain Park. Even the smallest donation will help him reach his goal for this worthy cause and your donation is tax deductible.

Thank you Johnny...I love your heart for God and others!

Chemo...3 Down & 1 To Go!

2008-01-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

'NUFF SAID!

A New Recipe

2008-01-13T16:48:00.000-08:00

All this "down time" has found me watching more TV shows than ever before. Normally I don't watch much TV, other than my favorite, Law & Order, and a good movie now and then. Lately, I've had way too much time to flip channels and get familiar with what's on TV. One of the things I have enjoyed is watching cooking shows. So, I decided if I'm going to watch them, I should try out some of the recipes. I got a "thumbs up" from the big guy on this one!

I get so tired of fixing the same old stuff! So if you're like me and you're looking for a new recipe, you should give this one a try...White Bean Chicken Chili. I love a good soup (or chili) on a cold evening and this one is a winner! It's a bit spicy, so beware and you might want to lighten up on the spices if you're not a huge fan of hot and spicy things or if you have little kids. It's super easy to prepare (especially if you buy a rotisserie chicken) and very filling! I used more chicken broth than it called for but I think I used more chicken, too (the big guy loves meat). You might want to experiment and see what you like.

Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Big Boys and Their Toys

2008-01-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

Just like a kid, I caught my hubby in the backyard this morning with his new toy.

The girls never know what to buy him for Christmas and birthdays so they both decided to give him gift cards for Cabelas...the big boy's toy store! Earlier this week, we stopped by Cabelas for him to make his selection. When we walk thru the doors, he's kind of like a kid in a candy store! There are so many cool things to look at and so little time! This time, he had already decided what his purchase would be.

He's not one for big game hunting, although he would enjoy it if he had the opportunity. Usually, he gets in a couple of mornings hunting during dove or quail season and on occasion has gone squirrel hunting, to satisfy the hunter in him.

Fortunately, he's almost as happy with his new pellet gun, doing target practice in the backyard! He's worked his tail end off, doing some side jobs to help with finances recently, so I enjoyed seeing him having a little fun this morning! One of the things I love about him is that he enjoys such simple things in life!

Friendly Stranger

2008-01-09T11:25:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night, Art, Sherry, and I stopped by Walmart to grab a couple of things and while we were shopping, I noticed a stranger staring at us. She was on her cell phone with her back to us and yet I kept noticing her turning around to look at us. I've grown accustom to stares because when Sherry and I are together people are staring at her in the wheelchair and now staring at me with my scarf. I smiled at her and tried to ignore the glances but it was just so obvious.

Art and Sherry were finished with their selection in the electronics department so we turned to walk away when suddenly the woman spoke to us. She asked if she could give me a hug and before I could respond, she wrapped her arms around me in a HUGE hug. She went on to tell us that her sister in California, who she had just been talking to on the cell phone, was battling breast cancer right now. She said she saw my scarf and the pink ribbon on my purse and knew I was fighting my own battle and just wanted to give me a hug!

I was so touched that this friendly stranger was bold enough to embrace me and encourage me! I was caught off guard and my emotions swelled. I wonder...would I have been able to reach out to a stranger with such compassion before my diagnosis? Struggling with anxiety and fear of rejection, I'm not so sure! My recent journey has changed my life and perspective in so many ways! I pray, that given the opportunity in the future, I will be bold enough to share God's love and compassion with complete strangers.

Strange Stuff

2008-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

This chemo is strange stuff! In fact, if I stop and think about it too much, I'll probably get freaked out about it! Seriously, if it's potent enough to make my hair fall out...what else is it doing? I know, that's what it's supposed to do in order to kill off any cancerous cells that could be rapidly dividing in my body...still it's strange to think about!

Did I mention falling flat of my back in JC Penney's? Yep, I tried to squat down for something and just kept on going. Are you getting visuals? It was funny! I hope no one saw me! Stacey was around the corner and didn't see me and Sherry was in a different store. It was quite comical as they scolded each other for "not watching mom"! Then when they told Art, he said the same thing! Like I'm a kid that needs to be watched! They are way too protective!

The past couple of days found me in the "chemo fog", feeling pretty sick to my stomach and with mouth sores. It kind of caught me off guard because I had done so good the first couple of days...then WHAM! I slept most of New Years day, but I guess that's what my body needed. Sometimes, it's hard not to get discouraged and yesterday was one of those days! I'm thankful that my hubby is sensitive and gave me a little pep talk.

I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am. The outcome of my breast cancer could have been so much worse. Since my diagnosis, I've met people and read stories of others who were not so fortunate. God's hand was on me and I know it and I'm so thankful!! I just get impatient when I think of all the things I could be doing. I know...there will be plenty of time. God's timing is perfect!!

Today I'm feeling better. I saw the plastic surgeon and finally got the rest of the stitches out this afternoon! I still can't believe he could leave them in for 2 months!

2 Down, 2 To Go!

2007-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm thrilled that I'm half way done with the chemo! So far, this time around hasn't been too bad, just nausea, fatigue, and "fog". I'm thankful for the medications that help fight the side effects! I was actually able to go to church yesterday and enjoy the service. I'm continually reminded by friends and family that they are praying for me and believe me...your prayers have been answered in so many wonderful ways! Thank you so much for your love and support on this journey!

My grandkids are the best medicine around! Here I am with Little J, right before Christmas. He's got more hair than grandma, now! I can't believe he's almost 7 months old!

Thanks to my sister, Karen, for surprising me with a selection of bandannas...what a blessing! I like wearing these much more than my wig!

I'm so glad I buzzed my hair when I did. My Christmas morning was spent in the shower, loosing the majority of my hair! I can't imagine if I had not cut it ahead of time.

I really didn't want my grandkids to see me without hair, for fear that it would bother them. However, once he found out, Buddy, my 6 year old grandson couldn't wait to see my head. He loves to rub it and thinks it's funny. Scooter, the 3 year old, isn't quite so sure. He likes to see it but doesn't like how it feels! Children are so loving and accepting...and priceless!

Unique Ornaments for a "Pink Christmas"

2007-12-31T09:35:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law, Cindy, surprised me with these adorable ornaments on Christmas eve and I just have to share them with you!

There's a paint brush, wrench, & chain saw. Each tiny tool is adorned with pink jewels or crystals - perfect for my "pink Christmas", this year!

She found these at the local hardware store and then added her own personal touch, including scripture. How creative, huh?

Perfect Peace

2007-12-27T09:10:00.000-08:00

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is focused on You because He trusts in You. ~Isaiah 26:3

My 2nd chemo treatment is today at 11:30. I'm thankful for the inner peace that God gives in spite of these circumstances in my life! I'm not looking forward to today but I know that God will be there, giving me His perfect peace because I'm trusting in Him!

Thank you for your prayers! You have been such an encouragement to me on this journey!

One More Step in the Journey!

2007-12-22T10:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was another huge step in my journey, surviving breast cancer. As you all know, one of the side effects of chemo is the loss of hair. This has been a moment I've been dreading, from the time I found out that I would need chemo. Just as every other step, I've tried to face it straight on and with a good attitude. This week, my hair really started thinning and I knew before long it would be gone.

So, I made an appointment with the gal that has done my hair for close to 20 years, and had my hair cut. Yep, it's gone! I didn't want to wait and go through the emotional turmoil of watching my hair fall out piece by piece, clump by clump...so I had it buzzed!

The girls and my sister in law went along for support!

Although it was a little emotional...it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be! As my sister reminded me yesterday, this is just another step towards the end of the treatment and getting healthy again!

The bible says "Even the very hairs of your head are numbered" ~Matthew 10:30

Looks like I just made the Lord's job a little easier for now!

Afterwards, we went to Starbucks and "celebrated".
I am so blessed and have so much to celebrate!

Happy Birthday Big Guy!

2007-12-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated Art's 48th birthday!

There are so many things I love about Art...his servant heart, his gentle spirit, his love for God, his strength, his sense of humor, his attitude, his protectiveness, his wisdom, his determination, his work ethic, his confidence, and on and on.

I've had the privilege of being by his side and watching him grow from a young man who lacked confidence, into a man of tremendous faith who knows that he can accomplish anything with God's help.

He loves our family and is an awesome example to our three
young grandsons. The boys lovingly refer to him as "big papa" and they love to spend time with him. In their eyes, big papa can do just about anything.

My dad gave him the name "gentle giant" years ago and it's so appropriate. He's a big guy, 6' 6" tall, with a very gentle spirit.

He is a fun dad and has a great relationship with our girls! I love to see them laughing and teasing with him, just like when they were younger.

We have so much fun as a family! Spending time together celebrating his birthday was just another great memory making time!

Happy Birthday Art...you're a blessing in our lives!

Good Blood Counts!!

2007-12-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

Monday I saw the plastic surgeon and he finally removed about half of my stitches. Can you believe I still have stitches in, after all this time? The doc said there were multiple layers of stitches and he uses much smaller stitches and leaves them in longer. When he was removing them, he jokingly said, "who was the crazy doctor who put all these tiny stitches in here?" He's a really nice guy!! He gave kudos to Art for being there with me so much of the time because he said he doesn't usually see too many husbands. I've seen him once a week ever since my surgery on October 31st and Art has been there all but one time, when Stacey took me. I have a very supportive (and protective) family!!

Yesterday I saw the oncologist and my blood counts were good! Praise the Lord! This means I should be able to attend the Christmas service at church, which is important to me!! He also confirmed that I will not have radiation treatment. If the tumor had been within 1cm of my chest wall I would have needed radiation in addition to the chemo but my tumor was 2cm away!

A couple of weeks ago, I had a DEXA scan done to check on my bone density, prior to chemo. This was done because one of the chemo drugs (poisons) can damage your bones and they want to make sure your bones are healthy ahead of time. The oncologist informed me yesterday that my bone density is less than normal, meaning I have osteopenia, which means I have a greater risk of developing osteoporosis in the future. This is most likely due to having had a hysterectomy at such a young age (21), he said. So, please pray that the chemo doesn't do any further damage to my bones and that I won't break a bone!! They will be putting me on a medication to help strengthen my bones, too. A side effect of one of the drugs is joint pain and I did have bad hip pain, which is because of the osteopenia and the drug. Oh well, only three more to go, right?

That's the medical update for now! Sometimes I feel silly putting this stuff on my blog...like who really cares about all these details. Then, I find out that a lot of friends and family really do read these postings and then they know how to pray specifically for me. Most importantly, I love to share the good news so that you can rejoice with me!

Filled With Joy!

2007-12-19T05:57:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading a devotional regarding joy. The question was asked, "are you experiencing great joy?" I was reminded that joy isn't associated with my circumstances but rather joy is something much deeper. Great joy comes from knowing that a Savior was born to provide salvation for me. Joy isn't a denial of my circumstances but joy comes from the Lord and He gives me the strength to handle life's circumstances! Yes, I am filled with great joy!

Lord, You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence. ~Psalm 16:11

Enjoying the Season!

2007-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

What a difference a couple of days can make! I feel SO MUCH BETTER! In fact, yesterday, Art, Sherry and I made a quick trip out to purchase a couple of Christmas gifts! It felt good to be out and enjoying the season! What more could a girl ask for...shopping and Starbucks! Art was surprised when after a couple of stores I was ready to go home. He's used to the "shop 'till you drop" wife, but the truth is, I was ready to drop! That seems to be the only lingering side effect...fatigue.

I get to do this all over again, next Thursday, the 27th! For now, I'm enjoying the moment and praying the next time around will go smoother. It's great that the timing worked out so that I will be feeling good during Christmas! God is good!

The Past Week Has Wiped Me Out!

2007-12-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a little over a week ago since I had my first chemo treatment, as you know. The first couple of days I mostly experienced nausea and fatigue. By the first of the week, I thought I had probably seen the worst of it...not so! On Monday, I tried to do a little Christmas shopping with the girls and after two stores, just grabbing exactly what I needed (not my usual shopping style), I was tuckered out! Then, I had a doctor appointment which left me feeling a little sore.

Monday was also my mom's 77th birthday and I was determined to join my siblings and my parents to celebrate at a local restaurant and God was so good to allow me to join them for a little while. It was really important to me...I feel so blessed to have my mom a part of my life and in such good health at 77!!

By the end of the day, I was exhausted! By Tuesday, I was pretty sick with sores that had developed in my mouth, a side effect from the chemo and quite nauseated. The doctor wanted to see me and determined I had thrush and an infection, requiring an antibiotic. Three prescriptions later, my throat is feeling better...still sore but better! I sure hope I don't experience this each time I have chemo!!

I have so much I want to be up and doing! God reminds me "be still and know that I am God". I've had to accept that Christmas is going to come and go this year a little different than I had planned. However, I'm so thankful to be here...enjoying the time with my family and friends, celebrating the birth of our Savior!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

2007-12-08T19:57:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year and thanks to my hubby and the girls, it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our home!

I really miss being out and about doing all the usual stuff in preparation for Christmas! I love celebrating the birth of our Savior by serving Him and others. This year it seems odd to be cooped up and a little removed from all the festivities.

In my quiet moments, I have precious time to reflect on the true reason for the season! The birth of our Savior brings true meaning to the words, faith, hope, & love! In the hussle and bussle of the season, be sure to remember...Jesus is the reason for the season!

"She will give birth to a Son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins." ~Matthew 1:21

Pretty Toes

2007-12-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Trust me, I know I don't have the prettiest feet, in fact, I've always been teased about my feet. Because I was born in Hawaii, I've been told my feet were made for flip-flops with lots of space between my toes! Nice! The wide feet/toes have lead to broken toes, which have healed crooked. So normally, I don't show off my feet.

Today is a different story! Sherry decided to polish my toes for me. When you're feeling a little under the weather and down right yucky...having pretty toe polish makes you feel special. Thanks Sherry!

Just a reminder...It's the little things in life that matter!!

One Down & Three To Go

2007-12-07T04:42:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to say I'm past my first chemo treatment and I only have three more to go in the next three months. As with any new experience, no matter how much people tell you about it, you don't really know what it's going to be like for you.

I wondered how it would be to have the IV in the port in my chest rather than a normal IV in the arm...not bad! The nurses are good about explaining each step. I got a terrible headache about half way through which was a side effect to medications. Art was right by my side for moral support and prayed with me before we started. He even ran to get me a fruit smoothie which helped tremendously!! What a guy!

I knew we had a lot of people praying because I felt very calm about the whole process. Before Art left the church office, the staff gathered around him for prayer which was awesome! Pastor Greg text messaged me to say he was praying and that meant a great deal, too!

When I left, I had the headache and felt a little queasy. Later in the evening I got nauseated and had to take some medication to help and again during the night. It was a restless night but I'm sure that's to be expected.

I'm just so glad to have one treatment done! I'll continue to trust the Lord for the future!! He's never let me down!!

Healthy Perspective

2007-12-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my first chemo treatment. As the time approaches, I've been asked how I feel about it...am I nervous, scared, or whatever? Tonight, I'm okay with it. Tomorrow may be another story. Once again, God has given me such a peace and I'm trusting that peace is going to continue!!

I'm grateful that chemo is available and increases my chances of surviving cancer and not having a recurrence! God has given me this perspective...

I'D RATHER LIVE BALD THAN DIE WITH HAIR!

Chemo...Good, Bad & Ugly!

2007-12-01T17:03:00.000-08:00

I had my "chemo training" Thursday and heard all the good, bad, & ugly about it. Actually, after meeting with the nurse, I feel much better. She was really sweet and caring, which made up for the fact that I'm not crazy about the doctor. Fortunately, I'll be seeing the nurses more than the doctor, probably.

My first treatment is this Thursday, December 6th in the early afternoon. The chemo will be injected into the port in my chest, which will get into my bloodstream faster. So here's what I have to look forward to each time...when I first get there, they check my blood to make sure I'm healthy enough to have the treatment. Then they give me an IV for 30 minutes to hydrate me and try to help with the nausea. Then I'll be receiving two different chemo "medications". The first one only takes about 10 minutes and then the second one will take 1 to 1 1/2 hours. I have prescriptions to take along with it, too. The following day, I return for a shot that's a white blood cell booster, followed by medication for three days to boost the booster. I will have my blood checked at a lab every 10 days during the chemo treatment, as well.

My niece, Jennifer, is a hairstylist and she cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. Here is a picture of Art and I on Sherry's birthday. My hair is really short but it is much easier to do and it's a good transition for the next step.

I value your prayers! I'm thankful that I'm feeling stronger before the chemo starts. I've enjoyed getting out of the house a little more for things other than doctor appointments!! Please pray that I'll have minimal side effects from chemo.