Lump Patrol...

It's been so long since I've posted an update...I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore! Regardless, I'm going to share my thoughts and try to be more diligent about posting.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my upper chest area near the sight where my chemo port had been. At first I dismissed it thinking it was a muscle or something. After a few days of it being there I began to think that it was some scar tissue from the port...that seemed reasonable. I asked my hubby to feel it but with his big calloused hands, he wasn't sure if he felt anything and I thought that was a good sign.

On the 2nd of September, I was at my doctor's office being seen for a second round of a UTI and mentioned the lump. The doc felt the area and sure enough, she confirmed that there was something there and scheduled me for another mammo and ultrasound.

Yesterday was the diagnostic testing and I'm happy to say the mammo was "normal". I have to laugh at that statement! How normal can a mammo be when you've had a bilateral mastectomy? Trust me, just trying to perform the test is an accomplishment in itself. Regardless, it was "normal". On to the ultrasound room. The tech was quickly able to find the lump and I could see it on the screen. Anxiety! She filmed the lump and took the video in for the doc to review. It's not scar tissue or a muscle but yes, there is clearly a lump. They feel confident that it's not cancer but advised me to watch it for any changes in size or density. If that happens I will see a breast surgeon for further evaluation.

At this time...I'm on lump patrol!

Rejoicnig Over My 1099...Seriously!

I stopped by my office this past week to drop off paperwork and I grabbed the pile of junk mail in my mailbox. I hurried off to my car and sat there a moment as I thumbed through the pile of advertisements and hidden in the pile was my 1099 for 2008. As you know, I'm a Realtor and receive a 1099 as a independent contractor for tax purposes. I ripped open the envelope with out much thought and glanced at the line indicating my income for 2008...$9286...are you kidding me? Seriously, I knew I didn't make much last year but with the illness and so much else on my mind, I honestly hadn't stopped to think about my income for the year. So there I sat, starring at the figure, seriously amazed at the amount and for a moment felt a sense of panic. Then I broke into laughter, sitting there all alone, just me and God! If anyone was watching they probably thought I was crazy. I couldn't help but thank God for how incredible He is and how He provided for our needs this past year! We've had to make some adjustments but we've not gone lacking and in fact we've lived comfortably. We are so blessed and God has been so good. We have a beautiful home, food on the table, vehicles to drive, money for gas, health insurance, medications, and so much more!

I've said all along, there's never a "good time to get cancer" but if there was a good time for a Realtor to get cancer, God chose the best time for me! God has great timing and a pretty good sense of humor, don't you think?

My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
~Phil 4:19

Stand in awe!

A dear friend gave me a daily calendar for 2009 with thoughts of inspiration and scripture. The first day I read "Stand in awe", from Psalms 4:4 and the thought went on to say, "I'll begin the new year filled with wonder just to be alive". How appropriate for my life. Yes, it's applicable to anyone, but after the past year or so, I'll shout a loud, amen! I often find myself feeling overcome with emotions when I realize the gift of each day!

The past few months have been a bit of a challenge for me. I started having daily headaches a few months ago but really wasn't too concerned, just thought it was because I needed an adjustment. I saw the doctor, got the adjustment but there was no improvement. I was sent to see a neurologist who recommended that I have an MRI. I couldn't have one at the time because the expander's in my chest had metal in them. So, I waited until after the exchange surgery to get the MRI. The results were a little "unclear" and showed some areas of concern but my doctor didn't think it was cancer related but perhaps some "other" medical issues. They wanted another MRI done with contrast, which I had and I'm now waiting for the results...later this week. Oh, and did I mention I had hand surgery thrown in there, too? Yes, before BC I was told I need carpal tunnel surgery and during the last year it became more severe. So in November, I had carpal tunnel surgery with two other incisions to release tendons in my thumb and wrist area. Just like anyone else, it seems like the challenges never end.

I want to live each day to the fullest, whatever that might be. My days are filled with working, serving, sharing, laughing, crying...just being me! Some days would be easier to stay in my comfy pj's and curl up on the couch but I can't remember a time when I've given into that temptation. I can't! I must live each day to the fullest! God has blessed my life in SO many incredible ways and I don't want to let one day slip by. I'm thankful for the gift of each day and I look forward to living each moment.

I stand in awe! Psalms 4:4