It's a Battle Worth Fighting!

The fight against cancer takes everything you've got...and then some! Although I have been cancer free for 2 1/2 years, the results of the battle are felt in my body everyday!

In the past several months I have been dealing with frustrations of physical limitations in my body. Is it a result of cancer treatment? I'm not really sure! I have had incredible joint pain, stiffness, and swelling, along with the chronic headaches. I have seen a foot specialist and received shots in both feet, a hand doctor and had multiple shots in my finger joints, and a neurologist has tried a few medications for the headaches.

In the fall, I was referred to a rheumatologist for evaluation and had my first visit with her and her staff. I must say, I don't know when I had a more thorough physical examination! The exam was followed by lots of bloodwork, and MRI's of my hands, wrists, feet, and ankles in December. On a side note, can you believe that insurance won't pay for MRI's on connecting joints on the same day. Seriously! So, one day I went for MRI's of the hands and feet and the next day for the ankles and wrists.

My original follow up appointment was rescheduled, so I didn't learn about the results of the tests until a couple of weeks ago. The diagnosis...Erosive Osteoarthritis or EOA. It's just like it sounds, I have warn spots and holes in my joints. She is treating the EOA with a medication called plaquenil. The medication has several unpleasant and scary side effects that I won't talk about now. They will monitor me on the medication to try and prevent any serious side effects.

The rheumatologist also said I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome, which wasn't a surprise because I was told I had that several years ago. In my case, it's caused by a lack of estrogen because I had a complete hysterectomy at age 21 due to severe endometriosis. Now the post cancer medication I take prevents my body from producing any estrogen and the result, as she said, is that my body is estrogen starved which results in Fibromyalgia Syndrome. Honestly, the Fibro is the least of my concerns!

Of course, my BIG question to the doc was..."is this a result of cancer or cancer treatment?" Why this matters, I don't know! It just seems to be a logical question! The doc went on to give me a couple of excellent analogies. For example, she explained the treatment against cancer, like fighting a battle. The oncologist is waging war against the cancer and his main focus is destroying the cancer, to save my life. However, just like in any other wars, there are innocent civilians injured. So it is, we have the ongoing fight against cancer that started in my breast but the casualties are felt in the rest of my body. Not everyone experiences the same effects from cancer or cancer treatment, but in my case, this seems to be the outcome.

It is a battle worth fighting!!

It's a bit of a mystery...but what's new?

In October, during my routine oncology appointment, my doctor suggested that I talk with my PC about my kidney function because my lab work was consistently coming back abnormal. So I made the appointment, saw the doc and although he wasn't too concerned, he ordered a renal ultrasound. The following week, I received a call from him, telling me that I have several kidney stones. The stones are not very big and probably will not cause me any trouble, but I should now consult with a urologist to see about having them "blasted" with ultra sound before they get any larger. I will be seeing the urologist later this month, adding one more doc to my ever increasing list!

On a Friday in mid November, I was working on Real Estate paperwork and making phone calls from my home office. I had not been feeling well in the previous weeks and dealing with chills and sweats. I thought maybe I had caught a bug from the grand kids but wasn't too concerned because nothing major seemed to be hurting (any more than usual).

I finally decided to jump in the shower and get ready for the day. I was shocked to see in the mirror a bright red "rash" across my chest. I went ahead and took a shower, keeping my back to the warm water. After showering, the red was not going away and I was getting a little nervous. I asked Sherry to take a look and she had the expected response...we better call dad. I insisted that it would probably go away with time and there was no need to bother him. A while later, the redness seemed to be increasing a little and after re-evaluation by Sherry, I gave Art a call. I chatted with him briefly and found out he was just around the corner, so there was no need to tell him until he was home. One look at it and he was ready to take me to the ER. At this point, my emotions were hard to contain and the thought of Inflamatory Breast Cancer raced through my mind.

Once I arrived at the ER, I was given a mask and taken in the back, almost immediately. I was having a hard time containing my emotions while talking to the nurse and then the doc. Within a very brief time in the ER, the redness was spreading quickly. The doc took a pen and outlined the area so that he could monitor the progress. Sherry laughed and said it looked like a bat on my chest. Stacey was home with her little guys, and anxiously awaiting text message updates from Sherry. Stacey told the boys that grandma was at the hospital and Seth wanted to know if I was getting a baby out of my tummy! Yikes...where did that come from? You have to remember that they had just found out, weeks earlier, that mommy was pregnant with baby #4. However, grandma was definitely NOT having a baby!!

I was seen by an infectious disease doc and started on some heavy duty antibiotics, while waiting for the results of all the blood work. Later...much, much later, I was admitted to the hospital for further observation. They assured me that it was not IBC but possibly cellulitis (skin infection). After a couple of nights in the hospital, lots of antibiotics, an allergic reaction, and a bit of stress, I was released and sent home with two oral antibiotics. The redness cleared up very quickly and has not returned. It's a bit of a mystery but what's new?

I lied...

Back in September, I said that I was going to make more of an effort to update my blog but I lied. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't have good intentions, but actually doing it is another story!

Lump Patrol...

It's been so long since I've posted an update...I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore! Regardless, I'm going to share my thoughts and try to be more diligent about posting.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my upper chest area near the sight where my chemo port had been. At first I dismissed it thinking it was a muscle or something. After a few days of it being there I began to think that it was some scar tissue from the port...that seemed reasonable. I asked my hubby to feel it but with his big calloused hands, he wasn't sure if he felt anything and I thought that was a good sign.

On the 2nd of September, I was at my doctor's office being seen for a second round of a UTI and mentioned the lump. The doc felt the area and sure enough, she confirmed that there was something there and scheduled me for another mammo and ultrasound.

Yesterday was the diagnostic testing and I'm happy to say the mammo was "normal". I have to laugh at that statement! How normal can a mammo be when you've had a bilateral mastectomy? Trust me, just trying to perform the test is an accomplishment in itself. Regardless, it was "normal". On to the ultrasound room. The tech was quickly able to find the lump and I could see it on the screen. Anxiety! She filmed the lump and took the video in for the doc to review. It's not scar tissue or a muscle but yes, there is clearly a lump. They feel confident that it's not cancer but advised me to watch it for any changes in size or density. If that happens I will see a breast surgeon for further evaluation.

At this time...I'm on lump patrol!

Rejoicnig Over My 1099...Seriously!

I stopped by my office this past week to drop off paperwork and I grabbed the pile of junk mail in my mailbox. I hurried off to my car and sat there a moment as I thumbed through the pile of advertisements and hidden in the pile was my 1099 for 2008. As you know, I'm a Realtor and receive a 1099 as a independent contractor for tax purposes. I ripped open the envelope with out much thought and glanced at the line indicating my income for 2008...$9286...are you kidding me? Seriously, I knew I didn't make much last year but with the illness and so much else on my mind, I honestly hadn't stopped to think about my income for the year. So there I sat, starring at the figure, seriously amazed at the amount and for a moment felt a sense of panic. Then I broke into laughter, sitting there all alone, just me and God! If anyone was watching they probably thought I was crazy. I couldn't help but thank God for how incredible He is and how He provided for our needs this past year! We've had to make some adjustments but we've not gone lacking and in fact we've lived comfortably. We are so blessed and God has been so good. We have a beautiful home, food on the table, vehicles to drive, money for gas, health insurance, medications, and so much more!

I've said all along, there's never a "good time to get cancer" but if there was a good time for a Realtor to get cancer, God chose the best time for me! God has great timing and a pretty good sense of humor, don't you think?

My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
~Phil 4:19

Stand in awe!

A dear friend gave me a daily calendar for 2009 with thoughts of inspiration and scripture. The first day I read "Stand in awe", from Psalms 4:4 and the thought went on to say, "I'll begin the new year filled with wonder just to be alive". How appropriate for my life. Yes, it's applicable to anyone, but after the past year or so, I'll shout a loud, amen! I often find myself feeling overcome with emotions when I realize the gift of each day!

The past few months have been a bit of a challenge for me. I started having daily headaches a few months ago but really wasn't too concerned, just thought it was because I needed an adjustment. I saw the doctor, got the adjustment but there was no improvement. I was sent to see a neurologist who recommended that I have an MRI. I couldn't have one at the time because the expander's in my chest had metal in them. So, I waited until after the exchange surgery to get the MRI. The results were a little "unclear" and showed some areas of concern but my doctor didn't think it was cancer related but perhaps some "other" medical issues. They wanted another MRI done with contrast, which I had and I'm now waiting for the results...later this week. Oh, and did I mention I had hand surgery thrown in there, too? Yes, before BC I was told I need carpal tunnel surgery and during the last year it became more severe. So in November, I had carpal tunnel surgery with two other incisions to release tendons in my thumb and wrist area. Just like anyone else, it seems like the challenges never end.

I want to live each day to the fullest, whatever that might be. My days are filled with working, serving, sharing, laughing, crying...just being me! Some days would be easier to stay in my comfy pj's and curl up on the couch but I can't remember a time when I've given into that temptation. I can't! I must live each day to the fullest! God has blessed my life in SO many incredible ways and I don't want to let one day slip by. I'm thankful for the gift of each day and I look forward to living each moment.

I stand in awe! Psalms 4:4

My Very Own Christmas Angel

Early in December, I had a surprise visit from my very own Christmas angel. Olivia is the daughter of my friend Beth and they raised money and walked with me on the "Race for the Cure", in October. Her mom called early one morning and said Olivia had a special surprise for me and asked if they could stop by. A little while later, Olivia showed up with an adorable pink bear that she had saved her money to buy for Miss Susie! Olivia made the bear at Build a Bear in the mall, filled her with love, and even dressed her in a pink outfit. Olivia named her Passion because she remembered the name of my team was Pink Ribbon Passion and she has a pink ribbon on the bottom of her foot in support of BC! Olivia was full of smiles and giggles when she gave me the bear and was sure to tell me she put a special heart inside of Passion for me! We exchanged lots of hugs that morning! Thank you Olivia, you're one special little girl!