You Never Let Go

This morning, after my quiet time with God, a song came on and it was so appropriate for this time in my life. This has been a bit of a storm and there was no time to prepare. I remember the day the doc said, "it's breast cancer", it knocked the wind out of me! I knew there was the possibility but I wasn't prepared for those words, at that moment. I'm not sure what I expected but it just happened so fast!

I was talking with a close friend this week and she was asking about how I'm weathering this storm. Good question! She's the kind of friend that will ask the tough questions in life because she cares. I remember the day, shortly after I was diagnosed, and she asked, "so are you really okay with getting your breast cut off?" My response was something like this..."duh, no!" You have to understand though, she asked because she cared and someone needed to be bold. (I can always count on her in that department.)

The truth is, it's been an emotional roller coaster. However, I constantly remind myself that this was no surprise to God. It wasn't like God was looking down that morning, when the doc told me, and thought, wow, I didn't see that coming! He knew and it was His perfect timing for me to find out. The past few weeks seem somewhat blurry. Part of that, of course, is the beauty of pain medicine, but some of it is just emotional drain.

Every step of this journey, I have felt God's presence and His hand on my life. The day I was going in the PET scan, I remember feeling a little freaked out because they had my arms tied down and I hate the feeling of being restrained. I knew it was going to be 35 - 45 minutes long. I remember, closing my eyes as they were rolling me into the machine and I whispered, "okay Lord, here we go, just You and me!" I layed there and prayed for peace and then prayed for my family and friends. I kept trying to sing praise songs in my head but they were playing light jazz music and I had trouble making that work. So, I would go back to praying for different people God would lay on my heart, more family, friends and clients. Before I knew it, it was over.

I'm praying that's how this storm is going to be. Right now, it seems like each day creeps along and the healing process is slow. I'm dreading the chemo process but I know it's necessary. One day, before I know it, it will all be over. In the scope of my life, these few months are just a small time frame.

Today, I was reminded, that through this storm, GOD NEVER LET'S GO OF ME!

Song: "You Never Let Go"

Matt Redman http://www.mattredman.com/

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me, and if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me and if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh, no You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
You keep on loving and You never let go

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, you never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

Lord, You never let go of me!!!!