2 Down, 2 To Go!

I'm thrilled that I'm half way done with the chemo! So far, this time around hasn't been too bad, just nausea, fatigue, and "fog". I'm thankful for the medications that help fight the side effects! I was actually able to go to church yesterday and enjoy the service. I'm continually reminded by friends and family that they are praying for me and believe me...your prayers have been answered in so many wonderful ways! Thank you so much for your love and support on this journey!




My grandkids are the best medicine around! Here I am with Little J, right before Christmas. He's got more hair than grandma, now! I can't believe he's almost 7 months old!

Thanks to my sister, Karen, for surprising me with a selection of bandannas...what a blessing! I like wearing these much more than my wig!

I'm so glad I buzzed my hair when I did. My Christmas morning was spent in the shower, loosing the majority of my hair! I can't imagine if I had not cut it ahead of time.

I really didn't want my grandkids to see me without hair, for fear that it would bother them. However, once he found out, Buddy, my 6 year old grandson couldn't wait to see my head. He loves to rub it and thinks it's funny. Scooter, the 3 year old, isn't quite so sure. He likes to see it but doesn't like how it feels! Children are so loving and accepting...and priceless!

Unique Ornaments for a "Pink Christmas"

My sister-in-law, Cindy, surprised me with these adorable ornaments on Christmas eve and I just have to share them with you!

There's a paint brush, wrench, & chain saw. Each tiny tool is adorned with pink jewels or crystals - perfect for my "pink Christmas", this year!

She found these at the local hardware store and then added her own personal touch, including scripture. How creative, huh?

Perfect Peace

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is focused on You because He trusts in You. ~Isaiah 26:3

My 2nd chemo treatment is today at 11:30. I'm thankful for the inner peace that God gives in spite of these circumstances in my life! I'm not looking forward to today but I know that God will be there, giving me His perfect peace because I'm trusting in Him!

Thank you for your prayers! You have been such an encouragement to me on this journey!

One More Step in the Journey!

Yesterday was another huge step in my journey, surviving breast cancer. As you all know, one of the side effects of chemo is the loss of hair. This has been a moment I've been dreading, from the time I found out that I would need chemo. Just as every other step, I've tried to face it straight on and with a good attitude. This week, my hair really started thinning and I knew before long it would be gone.




So, I made an appointment with the gal that has done my hair for close to 20 years, and had my hair cut. Yep, it's gone! I didn't want to wait and go through the emotional turmoil of watching my hair fall out piece by piece, clump by clump...so I had it buzzed!









The girls and my sister in law went along for support!








Although it was a little emotional...it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be! As my sister reminded me yesterday, this is just another step towards the end of the treatment and getting healthy again!




The bible says "Even the very hairs of your head are numbered" ~Matthew 10:30

Looks like I just made the Lord's job a little easier for now!

Afterwards, we went to Starbucks and "celebrated".
I am so blessed and have so much to celebrate!

Happy Birthday Big Guy!

Today we celebrated Art's 48th birthday!

There are so many things I love about Art...his servant heart, his gentle spirit, his love for God, his strength, his sense of humor, his attitude, his protectiveness, his wisdom, his determination, his work ethic, his confidence, and on and on.

I've had the privilege of being by his side and watching him grow from a young man who lacked confidence, into a man of tremendous faith who knows that he can accomplish anything with God's help.

He loves our family and is an awesome example to our three
young grandsons. The boys lovingly refer to him as "big papa" and they love to spend time with him. In their eyes, big papa can do just about anything.







My dad gave him the name "gentle giant" years ago and it's so appropriate. He's a big guy, 6' 6" tall, with a very gentle spirit.







He is a fun dad and has a great relationship with our girls! I love to see them laughing and teasing with him, just like when they were younger.








We have so much fun as a family! Spending time together celebrating his birthday was just another great memory making time!









Happy Birthday Art...you're a blessing in our lives!

Good Blood Counts!!

Monday I saw the plastic surgeon and he finally removed about half of my stitches. Can you believe I still have stitches in, after all this time? The doc said there were multiple layers of stitches and he uses much smaller stitches and leaves them in longer. When he was removing them, he jokingly said, "who was the crazy doctor who put all these tiny stitches in here?" He's a really nice guy!! He gave kudos to Art for being there with me so much of the time because he said he doesn't usually see too many husbands. I've seen him once a week ever since my surgery on October 31st and Art has been there all but one time, when Stacey took me. I have a very supportive (and protective) family!!

Yesterday I saw the oncologist and my blood counts were good! Praise the Lord! This means I should be able to attend the Christmas service at church, which is important to me!! He also confirmed that I will not have radiation treatment. If the tumor had been within 1cm of my chest wall I would have needed radiation in addition to the chemo but my tumor was 2cm away!

A couple of weeks ago, I had a DEXA scan done to check on my bone density, prior to chemo. This was done because one of the chemo drugs (poisons) can damage your bones and they want to make sure your bones are healthy ahead of time. The oncologist informed me yesterday that my bone density is less than normal, meaning I have osteopenia, which means I have a greater risk of developing osteoporosis in the future. This is most likely due to having had a hysterectomy at such a young age (21), he said. So, please pray that the chemo doesn't do any further damage to my bones and that I won't break a bone!! They will be putting me on a medication to help strengthen my bones, too. A side effect of one of the drugs is joint pain and I did have bad hip pain, which is because of the osteopenia and the drug. Oh well, only three more to go, right?

That's the medical update for now! Sometimes I feel silly putting this stuff on my blog...like who really cares about all these details. Then, I find out that a lot of friends and family really do read these postings and then they know how to pray specifically for me. Most importantly, I love to share the good news so that you can rejoice with me!

Filled With Joy!

This morning I was reading a devotional regarding joy. The question was asked, "are you experiencing great joy?" I was reminded that joy isn't associated with my circumstances but rather joy is something much deeper. Great joy comes from knowing that a Savior was born to provide salvation for me. Joy isn't a denial of my circumstances but joy comes from the Lord and He gives me the strength to handle life's circumstances! Yes, I am filled with great joy!

Lord, You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence. ~Psalm 16:11

Enjoying the Season!

What a difference a couple of days can make! I feel SO MUCH BETTER! In fact, yesterday, Art, Sherry and I made a quick trip out to purchase a couple of Christmas gifts! It felt good to be out and enjoying the season! What more could a girl ask for...shopping and Starbucks! Art was surprised when after a couple of stores I was ready to go home. He's used to the "shop 'till you drop" wife, but the truth is, I was ready to drop! That seems to be the only lingering side effect...fatigue.

I get to do this all over again, next Thursday, the 27th! For now, I'm enjoying the moment and praying the next time around will go smoother. It's great that the timing worked out so that I will be feeling good during Christmas! God is good!

The Past Week Has Wiped Me Out!

It's been a little over a week ago since I had my first chemo treatment, as you know. The first couple of days I mostly experienced nausea and fatigue. By the first of the week, I thought I had probably seen the worst of it...not so! On Monday, I tried to do a little Christmas shopping with the girls and after two stores, just grabbing exactly what I needed (not my usual shopping style), I was tuckered out! Then, I had a doctor appointment which left me feeling a little sore.

Monday was also my mom's 77th birthday and I was determined to join my siblings and my parents to celebrate at a local restaurant and God was so good to allow me to join them for a little while. It was really important to me...I feel so blessed to have my mom a part of my life and in such good health at 77!!

By the end of the day, I was exhausted! By Tuesday, I was pretty sick with sores that had developed in my mouth, a side effect from the chemo and quite nauseated. The doctor wanted to see me and determined I had thrush and an infection, requiring an antibiotic. Three prescriptions later, my throat is feeling better...still sore but better! I sure hope I don't experience this each time I have chemo!!

I have so much I want to be up and doing! God reminds me "be still and know that I am God". I've had to accept that Christmas is going to come and go this year a little different than I had planned. However, I'm so thankful to be here...enjoying the time with my family and friends, celebrating the birth of our Savior!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

I love this time of year and thanks to my hubby and the girls, it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our home!

I really miss being out and about doing all the usual stuff in preparation for Christmas! I love celebrating the birth of our Savior by serving Him and others. This year it seems odd to be cooped up and a little removed from all the festivities.




In my quiet moments, I have precious time to reflect on the true reason for the season! The birth of our Savior brings true meaning to the words, faith, hope, & love! In the hussle and bussle of the season, be sure to remember...Jesus is the reason for the season!








"She will give birth to a Son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins." ~Matthew 1:21

Pretty Toes

Trust me, I know I don't have the prettiest feet, in fact, I've always been teased about my feet. Because I was born in Hawaii, I've been told my feet were made for flip-flops with lots of space between my toes! Nice! The wide feet/toes have lead to broken toes, which have healed crooked. So normally, I don't show off my feet.

Today is a different story! Sherry decided to polish my toes for me. When you're feeling a little under the weather and down right yucky...having pretty toe polish makes you feel special. Thanks Sherry!

Just a reminder...It's the little things in life that matter!!

One Down & Three To Go

I'm happy to say I'm past my first chemo treatment and I only have three more to go in the next three months. As with any new experience, no matter how much people tell you about it, you don't really know what it's going to be like for you.

I wondered how it would be to have the IV in the port in my chest rather than a normal IV in the arm...not bad! The nurses are good about explaining each step. I got a terrible headache about half way through which was a side effect to medications. Art was right by my side for moral support and prayed with me before we started. He even ran to get me a fruit smoothie which helped tremendously!! What a guy!

I knew we had a lot of people praying because I felt very calm about the whole process. Before Art left the church office, the staff gathered around him for prayer which was awesome! Pastor Greg text messaged me to say he was praying and that meant a great deal, too!

When I left, I had the headache and felt a little queasy. Later in the evening I got nauseated and had to take some medication to help and again during the night. It was a restless night but I'm sure that's to be expected.

I'm just so glad to have one treatment done! I'll continue to trust the Lord for the future!! He's never let me down!!

Healthy Perspective

Tomorrow is my first chemo treatment. As the time approaches, I've been asked how I feel about it...am I nervous, scared, or whatever? Tonight, I'm okay with it. Tomorrow may be another story. Once again, God has given me such a peace and I'm trusting that peace is going to continue!!

I'm grateful that chemo is available and increases my chances of surviving cancer and not having a recurrence! God has given me this perspective...

I'D RATHER LIVE BALD THAN DIE WITH HAIR!

Chemo...Good, Bad & Ugly!

I had my "chemo training" Thursday and heard all the good, bad, & ugly about it. Actually, after meeting with the nurse, I feel much better. She was really sweet and caring, which made up for the fact that I'm not crazy about the doctor. Fortunately, I'll be seeing the nurses more than the doctor, probably.

My first treatment is this Thursday, December 6th in the early afternoon. The chemo will be injected into the port in my chest, which will get into my bloodstream faster. So here's what I have to look forward to each time...when I first get there, they check my blood to make sure I'm healthy enough to have the treatment. Then they give me an IV for 30 minutes to hydrate me and try to help with the nausea. Then I'll be receiving two different chemo "medications". The first one only takes about 10 minutes and then the second one will take 1 to 1 1/2 hours. I have prescriptions to take along with it, too. The following day, I return for a shot that's a white blood cell booster, followed by medication for three days to boost the booster. I will have my blood checked at a lab every 10 days during the chemo treatment, as well.

My niece, Jennifer, is a hairstylist and she cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. Here is a picture of Art and I on Sherry's birthday. My hair is really short but it is much easier to do and it's a good transition for the next step.

I value your prayers! I'm thankful that I'm feeling stronger before the chemo starts. I've enjoyed getting out of the house a little more for things other than doctor appointments!! Please pray that I'll have minimal side effects from chemo.

Happy Birthday Sherry!

Today is Sherry's 25th birthday! Last night we had a fun time celebrating with a "chick party" with her and some close friends. It was fun listening to her friends and family tell funny stories or memories about her. Her nephews were really disappointed about not being invited to her party and wanted time to celebrate Aunt Sherry's birthday so we went to Macayo's tonight with the family. Buddy was so anxious to tell the waitress it was her birthday so that they would sing to her...and they did!

I'm so proud of Sherry! As you know (or maybe you don't) she has been in a wheelchair for the past 3 years and has handled it with a lot of courage and a good attitude. There's not much that gets her down and everyone always talks about what a joy she is to have around. She has learned to do just about everything from the wheelchair and I'm amazed at what she can accomplish on wheels. She even babysits her three nephews, ages 6, 3 & 5 months and does a fantastic job. Her nephews love her and she spoils them rotten...like every good auntie.

God has done incredible things in Sherry's life and she has an awesome story to share! I know He will continue to use her to touch hearts!

Happy Birthday Sherry, we love you so much!

My Church Family

I love my church family and I have really missed attending services each weekend. In fact, I hadn't been to church since October 14th and for someone who is used to attending every week, it's been hard! Fortunately, I'm able to watch services online but it's just not the same as being there! Saturday evening was great to be back at church and joining in the worship time and I'm already looking forward to going again this coming weekend!

I received a double blessing when Derrick lead us in singing "You Never Let Go", the song I had blogged about last week! I love it when God does little things like that for us! It meant a lot to me!

A shout out to my girlfriends from Home Team! These gals have been incredible in loving and caring for me and my family during the past month and a half! Even though I couldn't make it to church, they've kept in close contact and even coordinated meals for us during my surgery time. Since our group meets in my home, we've been able to still meet a few times, which has been a huge blessing! I'm so grateful for your friendship, ladies!

Chemo Update

Art and I had an appointment at the oncologist office the day before Thanksgiving, which was the first visit since surgery. He gave us some info about the chemo and reviewed all the good reports from surgery and the PET scan. Next Thursday, I will meet with the nurse and get "chemo education" and schedule the treatments.

We found out that I will have 4 sessions of chemo about 3 weeks apart. Each treatment will be like double treatments, which I don't really understand yet...but basically it sounds like one will be given right after the other, on the same day. I will learn more about this on Thursday. I'm thankful that the chemo process will be fairly short!

Some friends have asked why I need chemo if the cancer has been removed and my results were so good??? Even though the cancer was rated stage 1 after surgery (initially they had said stage 2), there were no signs of cancer in the lymph nodes, and the PET scan showed no signs of cancer, there is still a possibility that cancerous cells are in my body or small undetected cancer growths could be present. This is just an added precaution (required by the doc) to be as aggressive as possible and take every step to rid my body of any cancer cells. Anytime the tumor is over 1 cm, they require chemo. As you know, I've been aggressive since day one and I'm glad the doctors attitude is the same.

Although I'm dreading the chemo process, I am very thankful that chemo is available and so effective. I've asked the Lord to help me look at it in a positive way rather than negative. I'll be honest and say, I'm not totally to that point but my attitude is getting better. Once chemo is done, I'll take a drug for 5 years that increases my survival rate and lessens the chance of recurrence.

As with everything else in this process, I'll find humor! I'm already thinking about all the time & money I'll save with no hair to style! Maybe I should have gone for the pink wig...now that would be worth a laugh!

Thanks for your continued prayers!

Very Thankful!

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever! ~Psalm 118:1

This year, as I reflect on Thanksgiving and all the blessings in my life, the list is unending. So, I thought I'd do a list from A to Z.

A - Art - The Love of My Life (top of my list in more ways than one!)
B - Boys - 3 hug-able grandsons for me to love and spoil
C - Cancer Free! - 21 days now!
D - Daughters - Two of my greatest blessings in life!
E - Encouraging Words - I've heard so many recently!
F - Family & Friends - You've touched my life in so many ways!
G - Girlfriends - You know who you are!!
H - Home Filled with Lots of Love!
I - Incredible Peace!
J - Jesus - What would I do without Him?
K - Knowing I'll See Loved Ones in Heaven Someday!
L - Laughter - Even in the storms of life!
M - Mom & Dad - I'm grateful for their love and support!
N - Nothing Is A Surprise to God!
O - Opportunities to Share My Faith!
P - Power of Prayer!
Q - Quiet Moments with God!
R - Restored Relationships!
S - Son in Law - He is such a great guy!
T - Treasured Memories
U - Unexpected Acts of Kindness
V - Visits with Friends and Family!
W - Worship Music!!
X - Xrays & Other Medical Tests
Y - You Reading My Blog - I love to read your comments, too!
Z - Zenia's & Other Flowers - They add so much color to our world!

That was fun...took me back to school days as a kid, but what a great exercise. It's funny how our perspective changes based on our life experiences. This year I'm thankful for things that probably wouldn't have come to mind at this time last year!

Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you take time to thank God for His blessings in your life, too!!

Thanksgiving's Coming but What Happened to Halloween?

There's no comparison between Thanksgiving & Halloween, however, a couple of weeks ago, as I was asked about our Thanksgiving plans, I remember thinking...what about Halloween, that's first. Then I laughed at myself when I realized that I had slept through Halloween. My last surgery was on Halloween. I was disappointed to miss out on the fun with my grandkids but if I didn't take that day for surgery, the next available for the 2 doctors was weeks away. I guess because I was "out of it" that day, I totally forgot about it!

I do have a funny memory of that day that I'll share with you. The anesthesiologist had told me they were taking me into the operating room awake, which I hate. As they are rolling me in there, the anesthesiologist said, "do you prefer to go by Sandra or Sandy?" Yikes! I looked at him and said, "my name is Susan but I go by Susie!!" Hmmm...panic moment...am I in the right place??? Well, we quickly figured out that they had my name confused with a more famous person with the same last name. They were embarrassed, to say the least, and he quickly said "I'm putting you to sleep now". So, as the room began to spin I said "then it's time to say, trick or treat", and closed my eyes. I went to sleep to the sounds of their chuckles!

I'm glad the kids were able to take the boys with their cousins to have some fun for Halloween! It had been a stressful couple of weeks for them with Peggie's illness. They quickly threw together cowboy costumes and made it work. It sounds like they had lots of fun!

The

Cutest

Cowboys

Around!

You Never Let Go

This morning, after my quiet time with God, a song came on and it was so appropriate for this time in my life. This has been a bit of a storm and there was no time to prepare. I remember the day the doc said, "it's breast cancer", it knocked the wind out of me! I knew there was the possibility but I wasn't prepared for those words, at that moment. I'm not sure what I expected but it just happened so fast!

I was talking with a close friend this week and she was asking about how I'm weathering this storm. Good question! She's the kind of friend that will ask the tough questions in life because she cares. I remember the day, shortly after I was diagnosed, and she asked, "so are you really okay with getting your breast cut off?" My response was something like this..."duh, no!" You have to understand though, she asked because she cared and someone needed to be bold. (I can always count on her in that department.)

The truth is, it's been an emotional roller coaster. However, I constantly remind myself that this was no surprise to God. It wasn't like God was looking down that morning, when the doc told me, and thought, wow, I didn't see that coming! He knew and it was His perfect timing for me to find out. The past few weeks seem somewhat blurry. Part of that, of course, is the beauty of pain medicine, but some of it is just emotional drain.

Every step of this journey, I have felt God's presence and His hand on my life. The day I was going in the PET scan, I remember feeling a little freaked out because they had my arms tied down and I hate the feeling of being restrained. I knew it was going to be 35 - 45 minutes long. I remember, closing my eyes as they were rolling me into the machine and I whispered, "okay Lord, here we go, just You and me!" I layed there and prayed for peace and then prayed for my family and friends. I kept trying to sing praise songs in my head but they were playing light jazz music and I had trouble making that work. So, I would go back to praying for different people God would lay on my heart, more family, friends and clients. Before I knew it, it was over.

I'm praying that's how this storm is going to be. Right now, it seems like each day creeps along and the healing process is slow. I'm dreading the chemo process but I know it's necessary. One day, before I know it, it will all be over. In the scope of my life, these few months are just a small time frame.

Today, I was reminded, that through this storm, GOD NEVER LET'S GO OF ME!

Song: "You Never Let Go"

Matt Redman http://www.mattredman.com/

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me, and if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me and if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh, no You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
You keep on loving and You never let go

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, you never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

Lord, You never let go of me!!!!

Through the Eyes of My Grandsons

My daughters and I had arranged to go shopping yesterday for a wig...not something I was really looking forward to! So my morning starts out with a call from my 3 year old grandson. Papa answered the phone and hears "we're going to get gramma some new hair today", on the other end of the phone.

I get on the phone with my daughter and she informs me that her 6 year old over heard her telling her husband, the night before, that she was taking me shopping the next day for a wig. He got pretty excited and was asking questions. He asked, "can you take me over to see gramma with no hair? I've never seen gramma Susie with no hair!" Cheap entertainment, I guess!

So, we get to the wig shop and immediately, the 3 year old makes his personal selection of my new hair style....a fuchsia pink, shoulder length hair with bangs!!! After I'd tried on a few wigs, the lady asked if I wanted to try his selection. Well, of course, this grandma will do just about anything for my grandsons!! So, there I sat with a bright pink wig! (Fortunately, the girls didn't have a camera with them!) He looks at me and said "gramma you look like a Doodlebop! I asked if he would give me a kiss with the pink wig and he quickly responded..."I not kiss Doodlebops!" Now if you don't have young kids or grandkids, you may not know what a Doodlebop is so check them out http://www.doodlebops.com/EN-US/index.html I have to admit, even I could see the resemblance!

You'll just have to use your imagination of me in the pink wig because that was not my final selection!

Can I Get An Amen?

Praise the Lord, O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life. I will sing praise to my God as long as I live!!! ~Psalm 146:1-2

The oncologist office called Art with the results of the PET scan...NO SIGNS OF CANCER!!! I will see him next Wednesday and find out the plan for chemo. He has already said I will have to have chemo treatment but the PET scan would help determine the amount / length of treatment.

I am giving praise to God for this wonderful news! I know that so many have been praying for me, so I hope that you will take a moment to thank God for this incredible, wonderful news!! I know at times we run to God with requests but easily forget to thank Him!!

This is a huge "GOD THING" in my life...can I get an amen?

Thank you for your faithful prayers!!

PET Scan

Wednesday morning is the long awaited PET scan. My witty hubby said we could save some money and he would just run our "PET" retriever around me for a scan. See what I have to put up with? Honestly, it makes life fun! I'm a little nervous about the scan. They said I'd be there about 2 hours and I saw pictures where you have to lay with your hands over your head...that will be a trick for me if I have to stay like that for long. Fortunately, I've finally progressed from "pain" to "uncomfortable" so I'm sure I'll be just fine.

The information from the scan will be beneficial for the oncologist when I see him next week. He will be determining the length of time I will need chemo based on the scan and my pathology reports. Today we got the official word from the surgeon that the lymph nodes were clear. Also, the second surgery was successful in getting a clear margin!! Praise God! Obviously, we continue to pray that there is no more cancer in my body! Thank you for praying with us!

Sometimes, I still find myself in disbelief of it all! Today, when preparing for my Home Team study (weekly Bible study with my girl friends), I was reminded "to live each day in contentment and confidence that your life...just as it is...is a part of God's perfect plan and His perfect timing." (The Remarkable Women of the Bible by Elizabeth George)

Preventative Maintenance

Alright ladies, it's been a little over a month since my diagnosis and I'm wondering, have you done your own personal check or scheduled your mammogram? I'm amazed at how many women do not regularly check their breast for lumps. I know it sounds strange, but you must be familiar with your breast so that you recognize an abnormality.

Some of you may not know that I found the lump in my breast myself. Admittedly, I didn't do "regular" exams on myself but frequently enough that I recognized an abnormal lump immediately. I was due for my mammo so I called my doc's office and got a script for the exam and scheduled a mammo, pretty quickly. Initially, I didn't tell the tech that I had found a lump and after the mammo, she said everything looked good. Then, I told her I had a lump I was concerned about and she had me step back up for a few more specific views. She then saw the area of concern. A week later, I was called back for further tests...the rest is history!

I've talked with some gals who don't want to check or have mammo's because they are fearful of the results. The truth is, you should be more worried about what you don't know! Knowledge and early detection gives you options. I've learned this first hand!! Think of it as preventative maintenance!

If what I've experienced can help save one more life, it makes it worth it all!

Breaking the Silence

It's been a while since I felt up to adding to my blog but I guess it's time to break the silence. I'll be the first to admit, it's been a long hard week! The surgery last Wednesday was delayed and then took longer than expected. My family was anxious as each surgeon took their turn coming out and gave them an update on their portion of the procedure. The pain has been worse than before, which they say is partly because I had not had time to adequately heal from the first surgery which was less than two weeks prior. Also, they had to cut and dig into the muscle this time around. I've had a lot of bruising & swelling, even in my sides and lower back. However, today is a new day and I'm feeling a bit stronger. Art's not convinced but thinks I'm a good actress!

As some of you may know, Peggie, my son-in-law Jeff's mother, has been fighting her own battle with cancer for the past six years or so. Hers also started as breast cancer but then spread throughout her body. This past Saturday morning, she went to heaven and is free of pain and suffering! She was a woman of strong faith in God and was prepared to meet the creator of life. I'm proud of her family and how dedicated they were to her as they took advantage of every opportunity to love on her until the end. I've known Peggie for many years, long before our children fell in love. She is about 20 years older than me and I always admired her knowledge of the Bible. We will miss her but we know that we will see her again some day!

This has been an emotional week, as you may imagine! I've wanted to "be there" for Jeff & Stacey but physically, I wasn't able to be. It's hard to understand God's timing but I have had to accept it. I really hoped that I would be up and running sooner this time, but that's not been the case! The recovery from this surgery has been tough!

Thank you for your constant prayers and words of encouragement...I cherish them more than you can imagine!

Update....

Hi this is Sherry again.
Mom is doing okay. She is tiered and she is very nauseated. She is still in a lot of pain. She went to the doctor today and he said that everything was looking good. He told her not to try to do much and to just do what she feels like doing. I am glad that the doctor told her that because those of you who know Mom well know that she is not one to just sit around and not do anything. So I am glad that she feels like she can rest. So she is sleeping now because she wasn't feeling good. She is having a hard time getting comfortable. So please pray that she will not be nauseated and in pain. Please pray that she will be able to get comfortable. Thanks for all the encouragement she loves to read all the messages. She said sorry that she can't get on and write to you all. But she loves everyone. Thanks and have a great day!

She is doing OK....

This is Sherry!
Mom asked me to go on and to let you know that she is doing OK. She is in a lot of pain and she asked that you all pray for her please. She is in more pain this time around. I know that she is because she asked me to write that specifically in here. She said to tell you that everything went well and they feel that they got a clear margin around the area this time. Also everything else went just fine. Please pray that she won't be in pain. Also she had a fever last night and just pray that it wont happen again. Thank you all for your prayers and for the thoughtfulness that you all have shown her. I will write more later. Thanks!!

Never So Loved

A few days ago, I was reading Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul, a recent gift from my friend, Colette. One comment really stuck with me...You'll never feel so loved! That comment is so very true! In the past few weeks, I have received so much love and support from my family and friends!!

Love has come in many different forms and each and every expression has been very heartwarming:

• prayers
• cards, letters, emails, e-cards, text messages, phone calls
• visits & lots of hugs
• prayer journal
• music
• pink bracelets, pins
• flowers
• coloring pages from children
• delicious meals
• chai tea lattes & Starbucks gift card for more!
• books, movies, & popcorn
• singing bear (you've got to see & hear it)
• slippers, pj's & a blanket
• breast cancer awareness bear with little pink ribbons
• pink M&M's, pink mints, pink chocolates, pink cookies, pink tic tacs
• pink ribbons on everything!!

My friend, Beth, has made me a couple of cd's to listen to with encouraging praise music, too. This past weekend was our church picnic but I wasn't able to attend. I had 3 friends, Melissa, Samantha & Carol, show up at the door with huge smiles and they said, "since you couldn't come to the picnic, we brought the picnic to you!" Can you believe it? One family who has recently been through this battle, insisted on letting us use their recliner for me to sleep in...what a huge blessing this has been!

Thank you, friends and family for loving me through this storm and allowing me to feel loved like never before!!!

Here We Go Again!

I'll be heading back to the hospital and operating room tomorrow for additional surgery! It's been back and forth all day, trying to get the surgery scheduled. Finally, the surgeons were able to coordinate their schedules, thanks to a little help from my hubby and the front desk girls. Of course, I know that God was the One who really worked out the details!!

So, here we go again...I'm dreading it but I want to get it done! I have been feeling so much better the past couple of days and I don't relish the thought of starting over! The doc said recovery will be about 10 days, although I'm thinking my recent practice should give me an edge, so I hope to be up and running sooner.

Please pray that they will get a clear margin this time! They will also be inserting a port/cath for my chemo and the devices for the reconstructive surgery that will take place in a few months. It's a lot to cram into one surgery but I'm glad they are willing to work together and get it all accomplished!

Waiting...

Can I just say, I don't like to wait! The hardest part about this situation is the waiting. Once I found out I had breast cancer, I wanted it out NOW! Of course, I had to wait for all the necessary steps to take place first. Then, waiting for results. Now, I know I need more surgery and I want it done NOW! Again, I have to wait for the necessary process. Then, there's the waiting for the treatment and healing! I was just telling my hubby yesterday that I don't like waiting!!

I want to get on with living! I still have so much I want to do as a wife, mom, grandma, daughter, sister, friend, realtor, etc. Waiting isn't easy! I feel like my life has been put on hold but the funny thing is that life continues swirling around me. Even though my life seems to be temporarily on pause, everyone around me is busy moving on.

So, this morning I open my Bible to read and spend some time with God and what do I read? Let me just tell you, God knows exactly where I am and how I feel today.

Here is what I read...

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, the Lord is my portion; therefore I WILL WAIT FOR HIM! The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. ~Lamentations 3:22-25

Perspective

The other day, Stacey had stopped by with her boys, my three adorable grandsons! As we were visiting, she was nursing Little J, who is almost 5 months old now. Stacey asked me, "does this bother you?" I'm sure I had a confused look on my face as I said, "does what bother me?" She said, "me nursing Little J, you know, with my breast!" This really caught me off guard and my first response (in my head) was "that's the best thing to use for nursing" but of course, I sensed a sincerity in Stacey's voice and knew this was a time to be serious. I assured her that it didn't bother me in the least. Honestly, the thought had never even entered my mind! We laughed as I asked, "did you really think I would be upset because you have breasts and I don't?" She was just trying to be sensitive to me, I know, and I thought that was so sweet!

Seeing a mother nursing her child is a beautiful thing...when that mother and child are my daughter and grandchild, it's even more beautiful! I am thankful that it's me with breast cancer and not her! Obviously, she needs her breasts more than I needed mine! God in His perfect wisdom, knows exactly what He is doing!

Here is our sweet Little J, ready for a day at the park! Isn't he adorable?

Laughter...Good Medicine!

I wanted a picture with the girls. Then Stacey says, okay now a funny one, she and I goofed off while Sherry said she would just concentrate on standing. For those who don't know, Sherry has been in a wheelchair for about 3 years and standing is a chore right now!

My girls have been such a blessing! The day after I found out about the breast cancer, they went out and bought these little silver bracelets with a pink ribbon around a cross. They said, "mom, we are BREAST friends, forever!!" How sweet is that?

The day of my surgery, they presented me with a Prayer Journal, filled with prayers and words of encouragement from friends and family! I sat there in the pre-op, reading the journal and crying! I was so touched by the precious words of love that filled that book, as well as the love my girls showed me by their thoughtfulness! As always, they know how to touch their mom's heart!

Well, as usual, the girls and I are clowning around and having fun together! You have to be able to laugh in the midst of these kind of circumstances! I'm sure, not everyone enjoys our humor, or even understands it. I am determined not to let this "get me down". Sure, I'm sad about the situation and I've cried plenty of tears...I'm sure there will be more to come, too! However, I'm choosing joy today! After surgery, when Art and the girls came in to see me, I remember trying to look under the gown to see the incisions. I lifted my gown and said..."now you see 'em, now you don't!" Later, Stacey asked me if I remembered saying that and I smiled and said "yes". She said she wasn't sure if it was really me or just the drugs! I guess I should have blamed it on the drugs!

Drains Out

Art and I went to the surgeon yesterday and he removed the drains from both sides!! As Art is witnessing the procedure, he says "oh my gosh!" He looks at me and says "that was wild". I said, "I don't want to know, right now!" It was great relief, once they came out! Later he described the process, which made me realize why it felt the way it did. I still have quite a bit of swelling and soreness but I'm feeling better each day! The surgeon is pleased with my progress and healing. We talked about the next surgery and got answers to our questions. We'll know more after seeing the plastic surgeon on Monday.

Small Detour

The surgeon called last evening with some good news and some bad news, as he said. The good news is that the lymph node biopsy's continue to come in clear. Also, the tumor measured smaller than they originally thought so he would consider the cancer a stage 1 instead of stage 2! Praise God!

The other news is that they need to go back in for more surgery!! The surgeon said the clear margin around the tumor wasn't enough. He said the lab results showed only 2mm. We had understood the oncologist to say 2cm. Even so, he said that would have been questionable but 2mm is definitely not enough. He said there could be microscopic cancer cells in the remaining tissue and he's not willing to take that chance. Neither am I! It significantly increases my re-ocurrence rate if they don't go back in. So, he will talk with the plastic surgeon and see if they can go back in soon to remove more tissue, put the expander's in place and also insert the port/cath for my chemotherapy. I will meet with the surgeon today at 2:45. He hopes to be able to remove one of the two drains today. I will meet with the plastic surgeon on Monday and see what we can work out for the additional surgery. Please pray that scheduling will not be a problem for the two surgeons and the hospital. Also, the oncologist had said he didn't want me undergoing surgery during chemo, so we have to coordinate with him and get his blessing.

Needless to say, I was a little discouraged when I heard the news. My surgery was just one week ago today and the thought of additional surgery, already, was upsetting! I'm okay with it now, it was just a lot of information to digest at the time.

So, here we go, we're moving along on the journey and there was a small bump on the road which is causing a small detour. God is in control and I'm not going to worry about the details! This was no surprise to God and it was all part of His plan.

I guess I get another opportunity to experience that incredible peace!!

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. ~Psalm 31:24

Incredible Peace

Last Thursday, as I lay waiting in the pre-op for my surgery time, I was so calm! I have to admit, even I was amazed at how completely peaceful I felt. I've had my share of surgeries in the past and I always hate the waiting time before surgery as my heart races and I feel anxious for what is about to take place. This time it was so different!! Several people who stopped by to see me, even some of the nursing staff, asked if I had already been given medication to relax me. Nope! I was calm and at peace because of the presence of God in my life. I felt His peace and comfort like never before. I didn't know what the outcome of surgery would be...but I did know that God was in control of the situation.

I know that so many people were praying for me that morning!! God showed up in a BIG way! My spirits were uplifted and my body was calm! I remember thinking of the words of a song a dear friend had given me right after the diagnosis. I prayed, as I lay there, God, I'm climbing into your lap and I want to stay there...Jesus, sing over me! What an awesome thought that was as I pictured myself in the lap of Jesus, surround by His arms of love and Him singing over me. Whew! Even now, it brings tears to my eyes! (The song is by Mercy Me, "Keep Singing".)

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7

God is Faithful!

I can't believe that three weeks ago today, I found out I had breast cancer. Here I am, already past surgery and anticipating chemo. I'm amazed at how quickly this process has taken place but I'm so thankful that I didn't have to wait too long!

As you've heard...the surgery went really well. In fact, I slept right through it! Today Art spoke with the oncologist office and they said they feel confident that they got all the cancer! They got a 2cm clear section around the tumor. The final verdict isn't in regarding the lymph nodes but they said all the initial tests look good! They removed 2 nodes and anticipate good results.

The next big step will be chemo, once I heal a little from the surgery. I see a plastic surgeon on the 29th and then the oncologist again on the 5th of November. I will also see the surgeon next week to have the drains removed. I'm also waiting for a PET scan to be done. They are supposed to have that scheduled by the end of the week. This scan will check my entire body for the presence of cancer. Again, I'm trusting God for good results but will feel better once it's done!

I've jokingly said the surgery was a "big load off my chest", but there's a lot of truth in those humorous words! I'm so glad to know the cancer has been removed. Once I knew it was there, I just wanted it OUT! I feel like my chest has been run over by a truck and I'm more aware than ever before how often I use chest muscles! However, I'm feeling a little stronger every day! Today I walked with Art down to the mailboxes and back. That was a big accomplishment. Each day is a beautiful day, full of God's goodness! I'm thankful for a sense of humor to help me look on the brighter side of life!

Thank you for your prayers and warm words of encouragement. I wish I felt strong enough to respond to each of you individually but please know how much you are loved and appreciated!

She got some sleep...

Hi this is Sherry..

Mom did good through the night. She said that she slept good and that she was glad to be home and out of that hospital bed.

She wanted a chia tea this morning from Starbucks! So Dad ran and got her one and now I think she wants some sherbert. She wanted sherbert yesterday but they said not yet. So today she can have that. And she said thanks for the surprise gifts and cards that have been left at the door!!

Sorry I don't have a lot to say but she is in good spirits and I know that you were waiting to hear how she is doing. So I or Stacey will write more later till she is feeling up to writing to you. Have a bless day!

She made it through

Hey Everyone,

It's Stacey, my Mom asked that I update this for her. She made it through surgery yesterday. They got all the cancer and had to take about three lymph nodes. The doctors feel very confident that the cancer had not spread. We are just so glad she made it through this stage. Today they will monitor her at the hospital and then she'll probably come home in the afternoon/evening.

She is such a fighter and I'm so proud of her! While she was waking up she said to my Dad and I, "I did my best you guys!" She had tears in her eyes and made my Dad and I both choke up. Then later she told us, "I'm going to be a survivor!!" Again, making everyone in the room cry. We are so thankful she is up for this fight! She is such a strong woman and we know with God on her side nothing can stop her!

Please continue to pray for all of us. This is a long and tiring road but we are just going to keep walking together. Thank you for all the support, encouragement and prayers for my Mom! She couldn't have made it without all of you!

More updates to come...

Love,
Stacey

Calm My Anxious Heart

I will be leaving for the hospital this morning and checking in around 10 a.m. At 11:30 a.m., they will do a biopsy of my lymph nodes to determine if the cancer has spread. So far, the indications are good that it is contained in my breast tissue. The surgery will follow at 4:30 p.m. Please pray that the results of the biopsy will show no evidence of cancer cells in the lymph nodes.

I know I will be feeling anxious as the time approaches for surgery. I remember a Bible study I did a few years back with a group of women from my church, titled "Calm My Anxious Heart". That will be my prayer today. Please pray for my family, as well, I know this is so difficult for them and the waiting 2 1/2 hours while I'm in surgery won't be easy! At least that's what they tell me. They'll probably be down at the cafeteria eating dinner and playing cards. Maybe I should send in a spy to report the real story. Seriously, I value your prayers for me and my family during these anxious moments!

I'm taking God at His word...

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. ~I Peter 5:7

Blessing of Friendships, Old & New

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin

I can't even begin to express what's on my heart tonight. In the past 2 weeks, I have been so touched by the love and support of so many dear friends! God has surrounded me and comforted me with many wonderful friends...many old friends and some new friends! As the word has spread about my breast cancer, I have received emails, phone calls, text messages, cards, etc. expressing support and commitment to prayer on my behalf. God has answered those prayers as I have felt His peace in this storm. Thank you for standing with me in prayer and believing that God can heal me! I love you so much and pray that God will bless you, as well!

I thank my God every time I remember you. ~Philippians 1:3

Bring in the troops!

Here is my support team for the coming weeks and they each have a special place in my heart! Little J is so lovable and cuddly and makes me smile. Scooter is quite entertaining and keeps me laughing! Buddy is gramma's boy and he is content to snuggle beside me with a book or to watch TV. Time with them is more healing than any medicine!

I've wanted a family picture for quite some time now, so the girls planned it before my surgery. What a blessing. I have to admit, my spirits were a bit down last night and I wasn't really looking forward to having pictures done 2 days before surgery! Of course, I'm thrilled that we finally did it!!! I know that it will be a cherished memory for years to come.

It was quite the challenge to get a talkative 6 year old, a very active 3 year old and a squirmy 4 month old to cooperate for a picture. Besides that, we had to deal with Art and Jeff! Just kidding!

Thanks for the memories! I love you!

Best Marriage Ever

Our church, Palm Valley (best church in town) just started a new series called "Your Best Marriage Ever" and I can't help but feel so blessed to have a wonderful man in my life. Marriage isn't always easy, in fact, sometimes it's down right difficult.

Art and I have been married now for 28 years! We met as children, fell in love as teenagers, married as very young adults. Looking back, we had no idea what we were getting into at the time. We were two young "kids" who believed that God had brought us together. From the beginning of our relationship we purposed to keep God at the center. We have always been involved in ministry, individually and as a family. We did our best to raise our children to love God and to serve Him with a passion. We've made plenty of mistakes! Fortunately, with God's direction, we did a few things right, too! It seems like we weren't much more than kids raising our own kids and learning along the way.

I'm so thankful for a man who loves God and desires to live his life for Christ. We've grown in our walk with God as we've grown in our relationship with each other. We've weathered some difficult storms in the past and God has always proven himself faithful. Should we expect anything less this time around? I'm thankful for the trials we've experienced in the past because it has built a confidence in our hearts, knowing that our God is always faithful!

For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. ~Psalm 71:5

Oncology Appointment

Art and I met with the Oncologist today. Basically, it was just an initial consultation and I'll be following up with him a few weeks after surgery. I did learn that my biopsy indicated that it is not an aggressive type of cancer!! Also, the hormone receptor test was positive, which usually means a better prognosis. There's so much to learn about cancer and the treatment process. I can easily become overwhelmed so I have to just take one step at a time. My chemo will start three weeks or so after surgery. He won't know the extent of the chemo treatment until after surgery when they know more about my situation. He said I can expect chemo treatment to last 3 - 6 months. I'm not looking forward to this process!!!

I will be at the hospital at 10:30 on Thursday. They will do a Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy to determine if the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. They will have the results back prior to surgery, which will determine how many lymph nodes have to be removed. The mastectomy will be done at 4:30 and will take about 2 1/2 hours. I may be able to come home the next day.

It's still so hard to believe this is really happening! When I tell someone I have breast cancer, it seems to echo in my head. I don't know how to prepare for what is ahead but I'm trusting God to walk me through each step.

Have I told you how much I appreciate your prayers?
I value each prayer on my behalf!
Thank you so much!

Breast Cancer Walk

My friend, Nicole, participated in the walk on Sunday and sent me this picture. I was speechless...I had no idea she was doing this! Her dear friend, Shannon, was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year and is finishing up her treatment. Watching her has been an inspiration to me. I'm amazed at the wonderful people God has placed in my life!

Surgery Schedule (changed) & Decisions

Thank you for praying with me about the many decisions I've had to make recently!! I have to admit, I could easily become overwhelmed but God has given me incredible peace! Art has been right beside me, holding my hand, and helping me make these tough choices. God has given us clear direction and a unity each time. My girls are very supportive, too! Together, we have laughed and cried.

We met with the surgeon again, and have decided on a bilateral mastectomy. This was not a decision made lightly, but after consulting with two doctors, we are comfortable with the choice. The words from my gyn doc ring in my head, "you have to live with your decision". That is my goal...I want to LIVE with my decision!! I don't want to look back with regrets!

Here's the schedule...

I will meet with the oncologist on Monday morning.
I preregister for the surgery Monday afternoon.
Surgery is scheduled for 4:30 pm on Thursday (yes, today they changed the date) and will take about 2 1/2 hours.
I will stay at least one night in the hospital.

After meeting with the oncologist, I will have more information about my treatment following the surgery. The surgeon said I will require chemo because of the tumor size (3mm or about 1 inch). Chemo will probably start a few weeks after surgery and the surgeon said I should expect about a 6 month recovery time.

My goal is to continue to work during my treatment and healing. I love my job! I have help and support from coworkers, if I should need it.

Thank you for your prayers!!

Life Changing Experience

It's amazing how life can change in a moment, through one event, or in a few short words, without warning, and sometimes without our permission.

• At age 9, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I experienced life change.
• At 18, when I gave me heart to my husband, Art (now of 28 years), I experienced wonderful life change.
• At 18 when I was told I would never give birth to a child, my heart was crushed and my life was changed.
• At 19 when I gave birth to my first daughter, Stacey, I experienced a miracle and my life was changed.
• At 21 when I gave birth to my second daughter, Sherry, my second miracle and my life was changed, again.
• When I was 21, I had a hysterectomy for medical reasons and again, my life was changed.
• When I was 39, my oldest daughter was married and I was blessed with an incredible son-in-law, my life was changed.
• In 2001, I became a grandma and oh, how wonderfully Josh has changed my life!
• In 2002, I became a "career" woman and my life changed drastically!
• In 2004, I was blessed with my second grandson, Seth, and has he ever changed my life!
• In 2004, Sherry became seriously ill and disabled. My life was changed forever!
• In 2007, my third grandson, Jacob, was born and what a blessed life change, again!
• In October of 2007, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer and my life is changing before my eyes!

This I know, my life will never be the same again. However, the God of the universe, who determines each of these defining moments in my life, is still on the throne! He does not sleep or slumber! He has allowed this life changing experience and He will walk this journey with me, giving me strength for each day. I'm so thankful for my wonderful family and precious friends that God has placed on this journey of life with me!

What life changing experience are you facing?

Please remember...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit! ~Romans 15:13